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Annie Heavyweight Member
Joined: 13 Jan 2002 Posts: 1105 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:10 am Post subject: People who offer unsolicited advice.... |
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Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH! _________________ ~Annie
*I may not be great yet, but I'm working hard on it and one day I'm gonna be there.* |
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A.N.A.Mendez Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 5231 Location: ca.
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:34 am Post subject: |
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Here's what I think you should do regarding that situation, if I were you I would, in my opinion and from my perspective, if in your shoes, if it were me I would........... _________________ "There is no necessity for deadly strife" A. Lincoln 1860
☛ "No matter how cynical you get, it's never enough to keep up" Lily Tomlin☚ |
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lmf Heavyweight Member
Joined: 20 May 2007 Posts: 2190 Location: Indiana USA
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 9:56 am Post subject: |
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And the advice often comes from those who should "sweep around their own front door before they begin to sweep around mine."
Unwanted advice often comes from those who need "a little and/or a lot more advice themselves" than they give to others. |
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johnsboy Veteran Member
Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Posts: 380
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:59 am Post subject: |
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"Unwanted advice often comes from those who need "a little and/or a lot more advice themselves" than they give to others."
Yeah . . . and sometimes it is offered freely (price is reasonable) because something about your original post gave them the impression you wanted, and would value, their advice. Boneheads! |
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Dan O'Donnell Heavyweight Member
Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 2287
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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When this behavior is identified...as a defensive effort, we tend to focus on the other person's issues or inability to provide helpful suggestions, recommendations etc.
We think of quotes like..."Don't try to pick a splinter out of someone's eye when you have a large wooden beam in your eye." etc. etc. etc.
During all of this emotion, don't forget those people who after you exposed them to your problem...
means well...
is genuinely concerned about you...
has a good "heart"...
and is simply just trying to help you by sharing their advice or similar experience in order to support you as they attempt to help you solve what you have conveyed to them as a critical problem. _________________ God Bless,
Dan O'Donnell
"Praise Him with the sound of the Trumpet:..."
Psalms 150:3 |
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progmac Veteran Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2008 Posts: 387
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:19 pm Post subject: Re: People who offer unsolicited advice.... |
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Annie wrote: | Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH! |
i'm probably guilty but you are SO right. trumpeters are particularly notorious. as a new parent, i'm learning that people just love to give me advice that i don't want. |
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Craig Swartz Heavyweight Member
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 7771 Location: Des Moines, IA area
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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Seriously, I agree with everyone here. Rather than accept advice from those who've already "seen the elephant", it's better to just let people find out for themselves. Best to just let the kid burn herself on the hot stove than warn her, in the long run.
I still remember my old long-departed, dairy farmer uncle allowing his 5 year old son to get off the wagon and try to pick up one of two skunks that were awakened when they pulled the brush off of them during the winter while clearing some fields. Kid thought they were "kitties". Quote the uncle: "I coulda tol' Donnie what a skunk was but he was a-whinin' an' wanted ta pick 'em up, so what the hell? Afterwards, he damn well knowed what a skunk was!" (My dad's sister wasn't much amused, though.)
Live and learn, Annie. I'm all for it. Nothing ever really beats personal experience. And seriously, what can one really expect of others whom they've never met, nor never will, in an open, everyone's-equal forum like this?
Good luck. I was trying not to offer any advice. Really. |
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swthiel Heavyweight Member
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 3967 Location: Cincinnati, OH
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not sure who said it first, but
Quote: | Knowledge is learning from your mistakes; wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes. |
_________________ Steve Thiel |
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Don Herman rev2 'Chicago School' Forum Moderator
Joined: 03 May 2005 Posts: 8963 Location: Monument, CO
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:22 am Post subject: |
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My version (from many years ago, and original so far as I know):
Experience comes from making lots of mistakes; wisdom comes from learning from them.
So far, I've lots of experience... _________________ "After silence, that which best expresses the inexpressible, is music" - Aldous Huxley |
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butxifxnot Heavyweight Member
Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 2353
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Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:05 pm Post subject: Re: People who offer unsolicited advice.... |
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Annie wrote: | Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH! |
I wouldn't paint the picture TOO black, now. A lot (nowhere near all, mind you, but a lot) of those people simply want to help you out.
Granted, it's still annoying. _________________ "Never practice, always perform."
-Adolf Herseth |
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Annie Heavyweight Member
Joined: 13 Jan 2002 Posts: 1105 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 1:14 am Post subject: |
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I'm talking about situations where you aren't even asking for advice - just for someone's opinion on something - i.e., the person posting doesn't really stay on topic and instead of discussing the topic, he or she just throws out random advice. _________________ ~Annie
*I may not be great yet, but I'm working hard on it and one day I'm gonna be there.* |
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Scorpion Heavyweight Member
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 1960 Location: hell
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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welcome to the internet... my advice would be if you don't like it get out... oh no... I'm changing......... LOBSTER FURY!!!! _________________ -GET OVER HERE!
-1964 Olds Super Balanced Depleted Uranium single flue Harpoon (w/custom coprion hand guard i got from a 1925 Conn Erradicator.) Akright converted handle w/calfskin grip (143xx) |
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mws52 New Member
Joined: 16 May 2010 Posts: 5
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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agreed! people need to just shut up already |
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VetPsychWars Heavyweight Member
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 7196 Location: Greenfield WI
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:54 pm Post subject: |
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Annie wrote: | I'm talking about situations where you aren't even asking for advice - just for someone's opinion on something - i.e., the person posting doesn't really stay on topic and instead of discussing the topic, he or she just throws out random advice. |
Stop blowing so hard.
Tom _________________ 1950 Buescher Lightweight 400 Trumpet
1949 Buescher 400 Trumpet
1939 Buescher 400 Cornet
GR65M, GR65 Cor #1 |
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Craig Swartz Heavyweight Member
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 7771 Location: Des Moines, IA area
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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mws52 wrote: | agreed! people need to just shut up already | Or just quit reading if they start feeling like someone they'll never meet is somehow offending them. (Holy Crap! Let's start putting more restrictions on the internet...) |
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