So, I quit my big band.

Big Dave88 · Veteran Member Joined: 31 Mar 2011 Posts: 479

This thread is in the sub forum on purpose. Guys and gals, think about why you play where you play.

I have been playing with this group for about 3 years, played lead for 1, and I have steadily had less and less fun - and with a volunteer group, isn't that the whole idea? To have fun?

The list of reasons to stop being a part of the group has kept getting longer and longer -

-Gas is expensive.
-School is expensive.
-School is time consuming(19 hours this semester).
-I am not really a jazz guy, lol.( Not really a good reason!)
-The last director of the band quit because one of the founding members of the group is incapable of not being in control. Things really went down hill after Eddie left... He was a great guy with valuable knowledge and great leadership skills... This member is one of the principal reasons why I am finally leaving. I can't stand bad and incompetent leadership. Wanting the control and none of the responsibility is rather outraging...
-The director we had 2 directors ago had an affair with a high school student. That whole 'guilty by association' thing SUCKS when looking for new students... who are in high school........ *facepalm*

A the risk of sounding extraordinarily arrogant -

-The group sucks, and no one cares. Barely getting through a piece was par for the course, and I was getting really tired of that mentality. Honestly, 'have some respect for yourself' ran though my mind every now and again for myself and others...
-There is NO sense of commitment or fidelity among the members - I wager this is a reflection of the leadership of late. I could not care less how bad you suck if your heart was in it. But alas, no one seems to really care about the group, or commitments to it.
-We (virtually) never play gigs anymore. Perhaps once a year. No surprise there...
-We have played the same 2 dozen charts or so for about a year (basically after Eddie left...). We have over a hundred and twenty, but no one dares to step up to actually learn something new. Another mentality that was rather (de)grading. I have tried with this one, and have tried to take some leadership of the band since we had no 'official' leader - but 'that member' wouldn't have it. Instead of confronting me or talking about it, he just manipulates things and the group. We have had many members leave because of this.

I have, as they say, reached the end of my rope.

I am simply not having fun anymore.

So I will somewhere else!!

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-Barenboim

homebilly · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:15 pm Post subject:

run forest run

you did the right thing!
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harrysbarbar · Regular Member Joined: 17 Apr 2014 Posts: 12

musicman0097 · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:26 pm Post subject:

Great move! You can find better places to play.

Matthew
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"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure"- Colin Powell

corsair · Veteran Member Joined: 29 Aug 2006 Posts: 135

I was in the same situation. Played lead for a couple of years. The commitment to the group by others was always 'if I have nothing else I'll be there' type of mentality. It seems if I was the only one working on the charts.
Then there were the childlike actions at the gigs. Adults acting unprofessional. Gigs were a hit or miss quality, (mostly miss). Embarrassing to say the least. The last gig I played with them over a year ago, was so bad that I couldn't wait to leave. One trumpet player was always showing up just after the downbeat. One trumpet was called and asked why he wasn't at a gig, just before the gig. His answer was 'I'm at the bar, I forgot, now I am in no condition to drive there to play.'
Real professional.
I just wish I could find a group that shares my focus.

chuck in ny · Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:46 pm Post subject:

so you don't like being abused?

Big Dave88 · Veteran Member Joined: 31 Mar 2011 Posts: 479

Chuck, I logged in just to tell you that you made me laugh.
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harrysbarbar · Regular Member Joined: 17 Apr 2014 Posts: 12

mrsemman · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 3:45 am Post subject:

I can relate to many of the faults you listed, as we have had similar problems. However, our band has a core group of players that show up regularly for rehearsals; and we work together to improve our group performance. Our director, while not the best, is a very good leader and a source of inspiration. A year ago Christmas, I was the only trumpet player in the band. As a intermediate, comeback player at best, I struggled with the situation. Now, we have three professional quality players in first and second chairs, and as trumpets usually do, we lead the rest of the band.

My fears that as we near the cusp of becoming a very good band, is that we will implode. We have some great players, and some not so good players. We are a community band, where no one is excluded.

My point is that we make what we can with what we have, and choose our own directions.
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conn53victor · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:05 am Post subject:

kanemania · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:38 am Post subject:

Thanks, Big Dave. You've made me even more appreciative of my own big band.

We have our little arguments. We have our share of knuckleheads. We have nights when we suck like a black hole.

But we keep getting better. We keep playing out. And we keep having fun. You've got to have all three, IMHO, to keep a band together.

murph66 · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:11 am Post subject:

I had to quit my big band a few weeks ago. I really hated to do it as I was one of the charter members several years ago. There was no problems with the leader or any one else, it was just personal. When the band performs, the trumpets all stand for the performance. I have had no problems in the past, but lately trying to play while standing has just worn me out. I am 76 years old with COPD, and old age has finally caught up with me.

This is a volunteer organization, so no money was involved. l told our leader, a really fine musician who is a librarian at a local school, that I may could sit in if he was really short of players, but we have had some really good young players join recently who can handle the load.

It was great fun while it lasted and I wish them well in the future. I still have my church orchestra, a faith based symphony and a community band to play with, so I still have plenty of reasons to practice. But growing old, while far superior to the alternative, is not for the faint of heart. I said that to the lead player at our church, who is in his 30's, and he said he would try to remember that. I told him he didn't have to- it would remind him.

trumpetchops · Heavyweight Member Joined: 29 Jun 2003 Posts: 2644

I play in a couple of big bands.

Played lead with a band similar to the one you described. I still play but went to second trumpet. Since I can't really solo and nobody cars or they think I'm doing well, it all works out.

The other band I play lead with is really good. So good that sometimes the pressure gets to me and I'm not having fun.

I guess it has to be a fit from both ends.
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Big Dave88 · Veteran Member Joined: 31 Mar 2011 Posts: 479

razeontherock · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:16 pm Post subject:

razeontherock · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:20 pm Post subject:

jhopkins7 · Veteran Member Joined: 05 Feb 2010 Posts: 117 Location: SC

The one and only band I quit was just the opposite. Serious players on bone, alto and tenor. The 2nd trumpet was a monster on solos, but limited on range (in fact, i don't think i ever heard him go above C#...not that he needed to because he owned every ride he took). I wound up on lead as i had the strongest and most consistent upper register. Over time, it became less and less fun. I was more than adequate for the band as a whole, but a couple of the other lead players were just in a different league. There was very little tension, but it was apparent that I was going to be a limiting factor at some point. I left on great terms and now play lead with a band that is less ambitious in terms of difficulty of repetoire, but equally dedicated to quality. Best fit for everyone. Only thing I can say is that your time is your single greatest asset. If you are spending it in an area where you are unhappy and/or unfullfilled, you're not spending it wisely.
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pepperdean · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2014 5:25 am Post subject:

You did the right thing. It's difficult to maintain a good attitude and performance discipline when everything around you is dismal. Just be happy it was an amateur group. When you need the paycheck, it's a different situation. Here's a story:

Years ago, one band I played in had an alto sax player as the leader. The band was made up of very good musicians and provided about 30 gigs a year. The leader had no clue. One night, we were rehearsing Maynard's Gospel John. The third time through the shout chorus, the leader complained he heard a cracked note in the trumpet section. The section then had to play that section several more times with ongoing complaints from the leader. After about five times, he said, "okay, let's slow it down."

Alan

roynj · Heavyweight Member Joined: 19 Oct 2002 Posts: 2065

BrassChops14 · Regular Member Joined: 13 Dec 2013 Posts: 81

You made a good choice. I actually quit my school band for a similar reason. I got tired of playing nothing but crap charts that half the band couldn't even play. It got to the point that I started to hate playing. Eventually I just quit band and now I just jam with my friends which makes me enjoy music much more now.