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Happiness



 
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tmaudlin
Regular Member


Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Posts: 42
Location: Keizer, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 8:44 pm    Post subject: Happiness Reply with quote

Well my wife died after 42 years of marriage from diabetes. I miss her very much. I thought I should start playing the trumpet again. I sold all of my horns so I went and bought a new horn. I look forward to playing every day.
I have a mile high of books from the 60's and 70's. so I have plenty to play. I enjoy the old memories I have from the old days with trumpet lessons and when I play they come back to me. All of the notes from my lessons are still in my books. I enjoy playing the songs and etudes the best. K tonging sucked back Then and it still sucks so forget that. I warm up for about 20 min and start playing songs etc. so for all of you out there enjoy your day and remember why you are playing. I hope it makes you happy.
Tyler...
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shires Q10
Coming back after 40 + years
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Dayton
Veteran Member


Joined: 24 Mar 2013
Posts: 412
Location: USA

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 1:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyler, I am sorry about your loss, but glad that you are finding happiness in playing the trumpet again. Have you joined, or considered joining, a community band? Best wishes.
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GeorgeB
Veteran Member


Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Posts: 218
Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyler, I am 81 years old and played trumpet in the 50s and 60s but gave it up, sold my Conn 28B and pursued a career in printing and publishing. I had a wife and children to care for and gigs were getting harder to find in the 60s. The career move was the correct one. My wife died in March 2012 after a wonderful 57 years of marriage. The following years were tough, but on March 8, 2016, exactly 4 years after my wife's passing, I dug an old student horn out of the closet and started blowing again. It was the smartest thing I did since becoming a widower . I had purpose in life again. And on this past Monday night I played first trumpet in the local Horizons Band Spring Concert.

You made the right decision, my friend. All the best to you and good luck with your comeback.
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GeorgeB
Manchester Brass Custom ( ACB ) RL-GB pro B flat trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B flat trumpet
Bach TR300H2 B flat trumpet
Curry 50C, Curry 50TC, Curry 8.5B, Bach 3C, Bach 5C, Bach 10.5C
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Pete
Heavyweight Member


Joined: 24 Nov 2001
Posts: 1477
Location: Western Massachusetts

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 4:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Music is powerful therapy. Hang in there.

Pete
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Benge.nut
Heavyweight Member


Joined: 18 Mar 2017
Posts: 695

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Tyler,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is very cliche but mourning a loss of somebody so important is a process and takes time. You know that, and don't need to hear about it again.

I'm glad you picked the horn up again, and are being flooded with so many good memories, and I hope you keep them at the front of your mind and they make you happy and help you find some peace.

Another poster mentioned a community band? Maybe that's something you might consider. Besides your own growth and improvement in trumpeting, there are always some great friendly people in those groups and seeing some smiling new faces is always a good thing.

I hope you are getting lots of hugs and find some kindness and tenderness from friends and family. And for what it's worth, I'll say a prayer for you, your wife and your family. Again, I'm so very sorry for your losss.

Now go play some trumpet!!!!
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tpter1
Heavyweight Member


Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 1194

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a beautiful sentiment, Tyler. Much needed. My condolences on your loss- I can't imagine what I'd do without my wife there anymore.

There was a period of time earlier this year where I just did not want to practice. I lost all motivation. I had forgotten why I play. It really is an important thing to remember.

Thanks, man.
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-Glenn Roberts
"Character is the backbone of human culture, and music is the flowering of human character". -Confucious
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OldKing
Regular Member


Joined: 26 May 2017
Posts: 12
Location: NW of San Antonio

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very sorry to read of your loss, but you certainly did the right thing starting something, anything, to keep your mind active, especially focusing on a good, positive thing like music.

I picked the horn back up last July after laying off for about 30 years and I joined a couple of community bands. There's plenty of widowers in them doing exactly what you're doing.

I too have plenty of old method, etude, etc. books, but I spend almost as much time taping them back together as I do practicing!

Good trumpeting to you sir.
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For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? - 1 Cor 14:8
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dcjway
Regular Member


Joined: 16 Sep 2011
Posts: 61
Location: Wilmington, De

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I hadn't played in over 30 years and started playing again to relieve the stress of aging parents, both mine and my wife's. We lost our fathers 4 years ago 3 days apart and lost her mother this past March. I'm blessed with a wonderful wife who unfortunately has MS, but I don't know what I would do without her. She puts up with me and my playing and was kind enough to allow me to buy a new Shires a few years ago. The community band is a great idea and lots of fun. Feel what you need to feel and cry when you need to cry and may God hold you close.
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Shires Destino III
1948 Martin Committee (Large Bore)
1934 NY Bach model 26-48
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GeorgeB
Veteran Member


Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Posts: 218
Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 2:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyler, be sure to keep us informed on how you are doing. All the best.
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GeorgeB
Manchester Brass Custom ( ACB ) RL-GB pro B flat trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B flat trumpet
Bach TR300H2 B flat trumpet
Curry 50C, Curry 50TC, Curry 8.5B, Bach 3C, Bach 5C, Bach 10.5C
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BGinNJ
Veteran Member


Joined: 02 Mar 2010
Posts: 223

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My sympathies. Having been through that kind of loss, and other life changes myself, I've found myself picking up the horn again after each. Sounds like it's a common theme among comebackers here.
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Bob5610
Regular Member


Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Posts: 28
Location: Hoboken, NJ

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My sincere condolences on your loss Tyler. My wife of 19 years passed away at 48 years old in 2005. My daughter was 19 at the time. I've been a music teacher and trumpet player for over 40 years( I'm 56 now) and I tried to keep playing and working through all of the chemo and doctor visits and hospital stays. Just generally spending time with her. Playing didn't seem important. After she passed I knew what you know now, playing music is great therapy. I started practicing again and found places to play. Find a community band or just someone to play duets with! Play along recordings, it doesn't matter, just play. Everyone says "I know how you feel" at times like this, but few really do. I think I have some idea. You'll come through this. Good luck.
Bob
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GeorgeB
Veteran Member


Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Posts: 218
Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob5610 wrote:
Everyone says "I know how you feel" at times like this, but few really do. I think I have some idea. You'll come through this.
Bob


So true, Bob. How can anyone possibly know unless they them selves have experienced what we have.
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GeorgeB
Manchester Brass Custom ( ACB ) RL-GB pro B flat trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B flat trumpet
Bach TR300H2 B flat trumpet
Curry 50C, Curry 50TC, Curry 8.5B, Bach 3C, Bach 5C, Bach 10.5C
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mcnairg
Regular Member


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Posts: 17
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your story and those of the other posters are such poignant reminders that despite all our myriad differences of race, class, ethnicity, nationality, etc. we are all human beings trying to find our way in the world and are joined by the joy we experience through music and the grief and heartbreak we endure through death. I was really into music (trumpet and chorus) from elementary school through my sophomore year in college—I even entered college as a music major. Well, as was the case for many of us, life took me in other directions and I stopped playing. I dragged my trumpet and flugel all around for 30 years, promising that I would pick them up again "as soon as I get the time." Well, the time never seemed right, until my mom died in 2015. Reaching a point in your life when you've lost both parents leads one to take stock, and so I did. I remembered how much I loved music and how good I was at it; it was of the purest things I could remember, frustrations and all. I also remembered my mom taking me to the music store when I was ten years old to buy me a trumpet—because she loved Louis Armstrong. I remembered her buying me my second horn when I entered high school, and how she took that horn to a tech when I wrinkled the bell in a marching band mishap! I remember her coming to every game and never complaining—not even once—as I screeched my way through practice in the den. That was the horn I'd been carting around for three decades. I decided the time was right to play again, both for her and for me. It's been two years now. I practice probably two hours a day, am better than I was in my "prime," and play in my college's symphonic wind ensemble (I'm a history professor now). It took a tragic loss to bring me back to something I had lost and to remind me every day what a wonderful mother I had! Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share this.
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GeorgeB
Veteran Member


Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Posts: 218
Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mcnairg, your story touched me deeply.
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GeorgeB
Manchester Brass Custom ( ACB ) RL-GB pro B flat trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B flat trumpet
Bach TR300H2 B flat trumpet
Curry 50C, Curry 50TC, Curry 8.5B, Bach 3C, Bach 5C, Bach 10.5C
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