How mad should i be?

mm55 · Heavyweight Member Joined: 01 Jul 2013 Posts: 1414

A long time ago, I let a friend take my Bach to a gig. He was late showing up to return it to me on Monday, and he told me that it was because he had just taken it to the shop. A speaker had fallen on it, and creased the bell. I was furious, but he said it was in the best hands in the business, Bob Osmun of Osmun Brass in Cushing Square, and of course he paid for the repair.

The horn came back in great condition, and I haven't taken any trumpet to any other shop since then (now they're called Osmun Music, in a different location, and Jim Becker is their master technician). So I got something out of the incident, and we're stll friends more than thirty years later.
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Adam V · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 10:29 am Post subject:

BeboppinFool · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 10:48 am Post subject: Re: How mad should i be?

ewetho · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:46 am Post subject: Re: How mad should i be?

plp · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:24 pm Post subject:

Well, the choices are shoot him in the face or set him on fire.......

I sense a certain tongue in cheekiness to the question, dents happen as part of having equipment out and about with mic cables, large heavy speakers and other folks moving in and around.

I've dodged a bullet a few times, had my stand get blown over during an outdoor gig which fell between my flugel and trumpet. Neither were touched. The next week at rehearsal a pulled mic cable toppled the same stand within millimeters of the trombone player's recently acquired 1969 50H. He and I both had a fit, had flashlights out and checking the bell for any damage. It took two trips to the bar before either one of us calmed down....
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Since all other motives—fame, money, power, even honor—are thrown out the window the moment I pick up that instrument..... I play because I love doing it, even when the results are disappointing. In short, I do it to do it.” Wayne Booth

zackh411 · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:33 pm Post subject:

John Mohan · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:40 pm Post subject:

Did ya dent his horn back?

zackh411 · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:47 pm Post subject:

Capt.Kirk · Heavyweight Member Joined: 24 Feb 2009 Posts: 5792

Accidents happen and yes it would great if the friend stepped up and fixed his problem. That said what is a friendship worth? I once went into business with friend and things went sideways. I left that business and still had my shirt but I decided right then and their I was not going to let money and friendship get in each others way. I learned a lesson that is priceless. I worked with my friend on other jobs with other companies each of us looking out for the other and tossing work each others direction, I worked for him on contractual basis but I never partnered with him in a business again and have never done so with any other friends or family. I have never let money or things or damages get in the way of any serious relationship either. One less then ideal business deal with a friend showed me what I valued most and what was of little value. No one can decide what way you will go or should go. Only you can decide what is important to you and what things are worth. I have no use for "fair weather friends" on the other hand a really solid friendship is not something I toss away easily!!!! So I would give it some thought before you did anything rash.

Nothing wrong with anger if it runs it's course and you get a handle on it and put it away in due time. If you let it run away with you though no good will come from it. So I recommend getting through it sooner rather then latter. I let something fester for 13 years before I really dealt with it and it took two years for me to really let it go. That was a stupid and ridiculous time for me. I did not not hurt anyone but it was like carrying venom around inside me or like having a heavy weight upon me. Not that this situation is that extreme mind you but in the end it is all the same the sooner you work through it and let it go the sooner you will be at your best again.

Let us dispense with "mad" and settle for anger or upset!!! Lets leave mad for wild animals and such.
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zackh411 · Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:37 pm Post subject:

Capt.Kirk · Heavyweight Member Joined: 24 Feb 2009 Posts: 5792

No I read it as usually. I would say it is another case of misunderstanding a person with out inflection or body language.

I could not tell if it was serious or light hearted fun and I was not the only one. Some people took it seriously some did not. I did not know which bunch to side with to be sure the serious one or the ones that seemed to make light of it. I have seen entire families turn into vultures over less.

In fact entire feuds have been fought over things not much more serious then this. Not long ago we had to have federal government get involved in Hatfields vs Mecoys(sp). If I recall right it was not that major of an issue that lead to a lot of dead people.

The "Mad" part really concerned me. When I was kid I was taught that humans do not get "mad" we get angry and that madness was for animals and the mentally insane. So I was seriously concerned for you since "mad" is such a strong very polarizing word!
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The only easy day was yesterday!

Capt.Kirk · Heavyweight Member Joined: 24 Feb 2009 Posts: 5792

No I read it as usually. I would say it is another case of misunderstanding a person with out inflection or body language.

I could not tell if it was serious or light hearted fun and I was not the only one. Some people took it seriously some did not. I did not know which bunch to side with to be sure the serious one or the ones that seemed to make light of it. I have seen entire families turn into vultures over less.

In fact entire feuds have been fought over things not much more serious then this. Not long ago we had to have federal government get involved in Hatfields vs Mecoys(sp). If I recall right it was not that major of an issue that lead to a lot of dead people.

The "Mad" part really concerned me. When I was kid I was taught that humans do not get "mad" we get angry and that madness was for animals and the mentally insane. So I was seriously concerned for you since "mad" is such a strong very polarizing word!
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The only easy day was yesterday!

bagmangood · Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:18 pm Post subject:

A fun trick - pour a water bell down his horn while its on a stand. No damage to the player or horn, and a very interesting first note

(On a side note, trombone players are awful

)

LittleRusty · Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:18 pm Post subject:

Dude,

If you had read the OP's post five hours before your's you would have seen:
1. The post was tongue in cheek.
2. The friend offered immediately to pay for the damage.
3. The OP hoped his friend would see and appreciate the thread.