Joined: 20 Apr 2016 Posts: 1063 Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:56 am Post subject:
The only tip I can give you to face the facts of life: No matter how good you may think you are at whatever you may do in this life, there is always someone who can do it better. _________________ GeorgeB
1960s King Super 20 Silversonic
2016 Manchester Brass Custom
1938-39 Olds Recording
1942 Buescher 400 Bb trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B
1999 Conn Vintage One B flat trumpet
2020 Getzen 490 Bb
1962 Conn Victor 5A cornet
Couple things that have helped my musical ego problems are
1) practicing to BE the best / being the best in my group
2) flipping things around to make myself realize that I play trumpet for fun and for my own enjoyment and improvement, not to be better than others
3) using those players as good examples of where I NEED to get to, and practicing such that I reach that level
4) realizing that I actually am just a puny particle in a HUGE OCEAN of players who have succeeded and failed at the trumpet for hundreds of years - in a way, me playing doesn't "impact the world", and it won't make a difference to the world whether I succeed or fail
But that's just me. I'm a hobby player and home studio fanatic, so I'm not try a bring home the bacon by playing, obviously. _________________ ATB
Joined: 13 Nov 2001 Posts: 9830 Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:14 am Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
Perhaps switch to clarinet. If that doesn't help, more drastic measures, including but not limited to taking up oboe may be warranted.
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 7196 Location: Greenfield WI
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:27 am Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
John Mohan wrote:
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
Perhaps switch to clarinet. If that doesn't help, more drastic measures, including but not limited to taking up oboe may be warranted.
Double reeds are hard to play. Why don't you give it a try?
Joined: 16 Dec 2007 Posts: 7080 Location: Houston, TX.
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:46 am Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
Assuming your post is legit, here's a suggestion: listen to some truly great trumpet players, and realistically compare what you can do to what they can do.
It's at least in part a matter of maturity that probably extends way beyond your trumpet playing. There will ALWAYS be someone better than than you, and that guy probably lives within 20 miles of where you do.
Reality.
Or just take John's suggestion.😉
Brad _________________ When asked if he always sounds great:
"I always try, but not always, because the horn is merciless, unpredictable and traitorous." - Arturo Sandoval
Last edited by Brad361 on Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:46 am; edited 1 time in total
Joined: 20 Apr 2016 Posts: 1063 Location: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:26 am Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
[quote="John Mohan" ]Perhaps switch to clarinet. If that doesn't help, more drastic measures, including but not limited to taking up oboe may be warranted.[/quote]
_________________ GeorgeB
1960s King Super 20 Silversonic
2016 Manchester Brass Custom
1938-39 Olds Recording
1942 Buescher 400 Bb trumpet
1952 Selmer Paris 21 B
1999 Conn Vintage One B flat trumpet
2020 Getzen 490 Bb
1962 Conn Victor 5A cornet
Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Posts: 9013 Location: Hawai`i - Texas
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:13 am Post subject:
Just remember, it's not about you, It's about the music.
Be a conduit of the MUSIC and take yourself out of it. _________________ "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." Bird
OK, read Zen in the Art of Archery - Eugen Herrigel
It's a very short book. Anyway, Zen is all about living beyond the death of one's ego.
Here's an even shorter story:
Zenkai, the son of a samurai, journeyed to Edo and there became the retainer of a high official. He fell in love with the official’s wife and was discovered. In self-defense, he slew the official. Then he ran away with the wife.
Both of them later became thieves. But the woman was so greedy that Zenkai grew disgusted. Finally, leaving her, he journeyed far away to the province of Buzen, where he became a wandering mendicant.
To atone for his past, Zenkai resolved to accomplish some good deed in his lifetime. Knowing of a dangerous road over a cliff that had caused the death and injury of many persons, he resolved to cut a tunnel through the mountain there.
Begging food in the daytime, Zenkai worked at night digging his tunnel. When thirty years had gone by, the tunnel was 2,280 feet long, 20 feet high, and 30 feet wide.
Two years before the work was completed, the son of the official he had slain, who was a skillful swordsman, found Zenkai out and came to kill him in revenge.
“I will give you my life willingly,” said Zenkai. “Only let me finish this work. On the day it is completed, then you may kill me.”
So the son awaited the day. Several months passed and Zendai kept on digging. The son grew tired of doing nothing and began to help with the digging. After he had helped for more than a year, he came to admire Zenkai’s strong will and character.
At last the tunnel was completed and the people could use it and travel in safety.
“Now cut off my head,” said Zenkai. “My work is done.”
“How can I cut off my own teacher’s head?” asked the younger man with tears in his eyes. _________________ Stomvi S3 Big Bell -2018
Bach 180ST37 -'80
Benge CG -'78
Buescher LP 9 -1926
Getzen 896S-4 flugel -'86
Conn 18H bone -'64
Getzen M2003E Bb/G bugle
Getzen Titleist 2v soprano G -'79
King K-50 G mellophone
Henri Gautier Cornet C/Bb/A -1919
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:58 am Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
When someone does something better than you do you have a choice: You can resent the fact that you're being outperformed or you can be appreciative of the other person's skills and use that appreciation as a springboard to be inspired to improve.
When an ego gets bruised this can be a good thing because it can be very motivational. What's happening here is that you're being confronted by realities which are proving to be uncomfortable to you. Your ego is resenting the skill of the other player. I think it would help for you to stop comparing yourself to other players and, instead, set specific goals for yourself in terms of your proficiency on trumpet and evaluate yourself strictly on the basis of your own personal progress in reaching those goals.
There will always be better players out there. Their skill is irrelevant to your skill. Instead of resenting those players focus strictly on their skills and channel that focus to inspire you to set and work toward reaching your own personal proficiency goals. _________________ HERMOKIWI
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 7770 Location: Des Moines, IA area
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 1:00 pm Post subject:
Hey- NFBD- Unless you are truly the best or pretty darned close, this problem will soon work itself out without anything else done on your part. You won't be doing a lot of playing with others, but it'll work itself out...
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 3:10 pm Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
Do not look over your shoulder at anyone else and what they are doing and learn to appreciate who you are as you were created.
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
OK, read Zen in the Art of Archery - Eugen Herrigel
It's a very short book. Anyway, Zen is all about living beyond the death of one's ego.
Here's an even shorter story:
Zenkai, the son of a samurai, journeyed to Edo and there became the retainer of a high official. He fell in love with the official’s wife and was discovered. In self-defense, he slew the official. Then he ran away with the wife.
Both of them later became thieves. But the woman was so greedy that Zenkai grew disgusted. Finally, leaving her, he journeyed far away to the province of Buzen, where he became a wandering mendicant.
To atone for his past, Zenkai resolved to accomplish some good deed in his lifetime. Knowing of a dangerous road over a cliff that had caused the death and injury of many persons, he resolved to cut a tunnel through the mountain there.
Begging food in the daytime, Zenkai worked at night digging his tunnel. When thirty years had gone by, the tunnel was 2,280 feet long, 20 feet high, and 30 feet wide.
Two years before the work was completed, the son of the official he had slain, who was a skillful swordsman, found Zenkai out and came to kill him in revenge.
“I will give you my life willingly,” said Zenkai. “Only let me finish this work. On the day it is completed, then you may kill me.”
So the son awaited the day. Several months passed and Zendai kept on digging. The son grew tired of doing nothing and began to help with the digging. After he had helped for more than a year, he came to admire Zenkai’s strong will and character.
At last the tunnel was completed and the people could use it and travel in safety.
“Now cut off my head,” said Zenkai. “My work is done.”
“How can I cut off my own teacher’s head?” asked the younger man with tears in his eyes.
Brilliant post!
My advice: wind your neck in. Get better for your own sake, and always strive to make music. NB: competition doesn't belong in music. Being driven and focussed does. There's a difference. Turn one into the other, and compete against only yourself. Otherwise learn to enjoy being miserable/feeling empty.
The only tip I can give you to face the facts of life: No matter how good you may think you are at whatever you may do in this life, there is always someone who can do it better.
Excellent advice.
It's true....for everyone except in-his-prime Doc of course.
Joined: 28 Dec 2001 Posts: 6437 Location: AVL|NC|USA
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:16 pm Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
The only difference between you and most other trumpet players is that you have freely admitted the above.
The ego is an important part of us, put there by our Creator for a reason. Our job is to try to keep it healthy and avoid letting it get out of control.
We have to have total and utter confidence to play the trumpet, the one instrument that when we clam, everybody hears it. So approaching it with an absolute confidence bordering on invincibility is the only way some of us can overcome the fear of hammering out some of the most egregious clams of anybody in a given ensemble.
Confidence, bravado, fearlessness, determination . . . these all can lead to excellence in performance. Cockiness, arrogance, conceit, and "hotshot-ism" . . . these all can lead to humiliation and a short career in music.
I find that preparation is the best way for me to exude confidence and leadership in my playing. If I don't do my homework, not only do I (and my performance) suffer, but so does the quality of any ensemble that has me as a member. _________________ Puttin’ On The Ritz
Joined: 16 Dec 2007 Posts: 7080 Location: Houston, TX.
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:58 pm Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
BeboppinFool wrote:
KyloTrumpet wrote:
I think I have a massive ego problem when it comes to playing the trumpet. Like whenever someone does better than me I tend to get jealous and think I'm the best player ever and deserve to be because in the past everyone thought I was. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of this thought.I want to go back to playing to be better than I was and enjoy playing for what it is. I can't calm my ego down Any tips?
The only difference between you and most other trumpet players is that you have freely admitted the above.
....
I'd agree with "many", but not necessarily "most". least not to the extent that the OP describes.
Brad _________________ When asked if he always sounds great:
"I always try, but not always, because the horn is merciless, unpredictable and traitorous." - Arturo Sandoval
Joined: 05 Jun 2004 Posts: 10609 Location: The land of GR and Getzen
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:13 pm Post subject: Re: Ego problem and how to go back to normal?
KyloTrumpet wrote:
Any tips?
Highly recommend reading "The Inner Game of Tennis." Hopefully still available at your library. A kind of follow-up to that is Effortless Mastery, by Kenny Werner. Definitely read the first book first though, you are dealing with "the inner game."
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