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People who offer unsolicited advice....



 
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Annie
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Joined: 13 Jan 2002
Posts: 1105
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:10 am    Post subject: People who offer unsolicited advice.... Reply with quote

Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH!
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A.N.A.Mendez
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Joined: 27 Jul 2005
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Location: ca.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's what I think you should do regarding that situation, if I were you I would, in my opinion and from my perspective, if in your shoes, if it were me I would...........
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lmf
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Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 2190
Location: Indiana USA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the advice often comes from those who should "sweep around their own front door before they begin to sweep around mine."

Unwanted advice often comes from those who need "a little and/or a lot more advice themselves" than they give to others.
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johnsboy
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Joined: 25 Jan 2010
Posts: 380

PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Unwanted advice often comes from those who need "a little and/or a lot more advice themselves" than they give to others."

Yeah . . . and sometimes it is offered freely (price is reasonable) because something about your original post gave them the impression you wanted, and would value, their advice. Boneheads!
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Dan O'Donnell
Heavyweight Member


Joined: 01 Jan 2005
Posts: 2135

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When this behavior is identified...as a defensive effort, we tend to focus on the other person's issues or inability to provide helpful suggestions, recommendations etc.

We think of quotes like..."Don't try to pick a splinter out of someone's eye when you have a large wooden beam in your eye." etc. etc. etc.

During all of this emotion, don't forget those people who after you exposed them to your problem...

means well...
is genuinely concerned about you...
has a good "heart"...
and is simply just trying to help you by sharing their advice or similar experience in order to support you as they attempt to help you solve what you have conveyed to them as a critical problem.
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progmac
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Joined: 15 Oct 2008
Posts: 387

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:19 pm    Post subject: Re: People who offer unsolicited advice.... Reply with quote

Annie wrote:
Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH!


i'm probably guilty but you are SO right. trumpeters are particularly notorious. as a new parent, i'm learning that people just love to give me advice that i don't want.
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Craig Swartz
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Joined: 14 Jan 2005
Posts: 6063
Location: Des Moines, IA area

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously, I agree with everyone here. Rather than accept advice from those who've already "seen the elephant", it's better to just let people find out for themselves. Best to just let the kid burn herself on the hot stove than warn her, in the long run.

I still remember my old long-departed, dairy farmer uncle allowing his 5 year old son to get off the wagon and try to pick up one of two skunks that were awakened when they pulled the brush off of them during the winter while clearing some fields. Kid thought they were "kitties". Quote the uncle: "I coulda tol' Donnie what a skunk was but he was a-whinin' an' wanted ta pick 'em up, so what the hell? Afterwards, he damn well knowed what a skunk was!" (My dad's sister wasn't much amused, though.)

Live and learn, Annie. I'm all for it. Nothing ever really beats personal experience. And seriously, what can one really expect of others whom they've never met, nor never will, in an open, everyone's-equal forum like this?

Good luck. I was trying not to offer any advice. Really.
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swthiel
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Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3910
Location: Porkopolis, USA (Cincinnati, OH)

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure who said it first, but
Quote:
Knowledge is learning from your mistakes; wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes.

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Don Herman rev2
'Chicago School' Forum Moderator


Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 6608
Location: Monument, CO

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My version (from many years ago, and original so far as I know):

Experience comes from making lots of mistakes; wisdom comes from learning from them.

So far, I've lots of experience...
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butxifxnot
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Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 2338

PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:05 pm    Post subject: Re: People who offer unsolicited advice.... Reply with quote

Annie wrote:
Granted, the advice is usually good, but it's frustrating when you want information but all people want to do is tell you how to do everything....ARGH!

I wouldn't paint the picture TOO black, now. A lot (nowhere near all, mind you, but a lot) of those people simply want to help you out.

Granted, it's still annoying.
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Annie
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Joined: 13 Jan 2002
Posts: 1105
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm talking about situations where you aren't even asking for advice - just for someone's opinion on something - i.e., the person posting doesn't really stay on topic and instead of discussing the topic, he or she just throws out random advice.
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*I may not be great yet, but I'm working hard on it and one day I'm gonna be there.*
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Scorpion
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Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 1959
Location: hell

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

welcome to the internet... my advice would be if you don't like it get out... oh no... I'm changing......... LOBSTER FURY!!!!
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mws52
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Joined: 16 May 2010
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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

agreed! people need to just shut up already
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VetPsychWars
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Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 6119
Location: Greenfield WI

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Annie wrote:
I'm talking about situations where you aren't even asking for advice - just for someone's opinion on something - i.e., the person posting doesn't really stay on topic and instead of discussing the topic, he or she just throws out random advice.

Stop blowing so hard.

Tom
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Craig Swartz
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Joined: 14 Jan 2005
Posts: 6063
Location: Des Moines, IA area

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mws52 wrote:
agreed! people need to just shut up already
Or just quit reading if they start feeling like someone they'll never meet is somehow offending them. (Holy Crap! Let's start putting more restrictions on the internet...)
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