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BbTrumpet1
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Joined: 14 Nov 2017
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 Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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| LittleRusty wrote: | | Good luck going forward. Hopefully he won’t be put in a position where he can “hurt” you, like sitting on your jury panel. |
I'm no longer required to participate in or attend anything associated with him and alternative arrangements are made for events such as juries. Besides, graduation is just around the corner for me. My only worry is that I could potentially have a bad rep if he talks poorly about me. I am confident enough in my own abilities and work ethic to save face, though, and in the cliche that the good guys always win. |
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LaTrompeta
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Well that's a bizarre situation. I have never heard that sitting in the front row for any concert is taboo.
It's garbage like this that reminds me why I left music. The politics (especially in academia) are absurd.
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BbTrumpet1
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| LaTrompeta wrote: | Well that's a bizarre situation. I have never heard that sitting in the front row for any concert is taboo.
It's garbage like this that reminds me why I left music. The politics (especially in academia) are absurd. |
Sorry to hear you’ve had similar experiences. It has been an absolute nightmare. I felt compelled to leave too but I have put my whole life and heart into my playing and music in general and this is my final year of schooling. After all I have been through I refuse to give up, no matter how difficult the last year is. My professors tell me that I have a gift and not to settle for just music education but these same kind of politics seem common and the lack of help I have received really deters me. Much of my focus had to be directed towards standing up for myself instead of music or my education. |
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gstump
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| Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:52 am Post subject: |
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There is no such thing as concert etiquette regarding where you sit.
There is clearly something else going on here. You did nothing wrong.
Music schools can be a mine field on so many levels.
Best of luck,
Gordon Stump
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Last edited by gstump on Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:55 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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LaTrompeta
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Location: West Side, USA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:22 am Post subject: |
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I did not have a similar experience to you, but I did learn for myself that the music industry is inhabited by the scum of the earth. I met some "famous" teachers and players, and I realized that I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Unfortunately, my experience with the people in music turned me off to playing the trumpet altogether. Hopefully you will have a better experience.
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kehaulani
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Location: Hawai`i - Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| LaTrompeta wrote: | | I did not have a similar experience to you, but I did learn for myself that the music industry is inhabited by the scum of the earth. I met some "famous" teachers and players, and I realized that I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Unfortunately, my experience with the people in music turned me off to playing the trumpet altogether. Hopefully you will have a better experience. |
I feel compelled to give an alternate view.
I've gotten screwed badly a couple of times and have had to make the best of some bad situations at times, also. It hasn't all been roses.
But I have been in the music business as a professional for half a century and have, by far, met some of the most interesting, creative and trustworthy people bar none. All professions have their bad apples and you can get horribly shafted in then, also.
If you want a career in music you have to be excellent, talented, flexible and driven. The standards are high. But I guarantee that you will also spend a lifetime in the presence of some wonderful people and awesome situations. If you want it, go for it!
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conn53victor
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:34 am Post subject: |
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No one has mentioned that the OP's avatar is of a woman, and the conflict is/was with a male professor. A talented woman can be seen as a challenge to an alpha male. I wish I could say that such attitudes are behind us, but I continue to be able to observe it even from my status as an old man. It might be that (in the professor's eyes) the OP was simply the wrong gender, and anything she did would create heightened conflict in his mind.
So to directly answer the original question, yes, it may have been rude to sit in the front row during his concerto performance. Or stay backstage. Or in the venue. Or on the planet. It was thoughtless of you to exist on his plane of existence.
I hope you find a way to handle this, professionally, musically, and personally. Women carry a burden that people like me (old white guys) can never fully understand.
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Seymor B Fudd
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| conn53victor wrote: | No one has mentioned that the OP's avatar is of a woman, and the conflict is/was with a male professor. A talented woman can be seen as a challenge to an alpha male. I wish I could say that such attitudes are behind us, but I continue to be able to observe it even from my status as an old man. It might be that (in the professor's eyes) the OP was simply the wrong gender, and anything she did would create heightened conflict in his mind.
So to directly answer the original question, yes, it may have been rude to sit in the front row during his concerto performance. Or stay backstage. Or in the venue. Or on the planet. It was thoughtless of you to exist on his plane of existence.
I hope you find a way to handle this, professionally, musically, and personally. Women carry a burden that people like me (old white guys) can never fully understand. |
+1! My thoughts went that way too - sorry to say I didn´t mention it. Good you did!
Old white guy Seymor
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kehaulani
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:41 am Post subject: |
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| Seymor B Fudd wrote: | | +1! My thoughts went that way to - sorry to say I didn´t mention it. Good you did! |
+2
When I was in H.S. there was a very good girl trumpet player, better than most. Her trumpet teacher encouraged her, at the end of the senior year, to play French horn because she "didn't have any *****". So she made the change.
Ironically, she wound up studying at one of the Royal Schools of Music in England. But she was bullied into the switch. It wasn't her choice.
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LittleRusty
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Location: Gardena, Ca
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| I too have suspected that there is possibly some male/female problems involved. But based on the Op’s discretion in her initial post have refrained from speculating about it. |
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trickg
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| Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:53 am Post subject: |
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| LittleRusty wrote: | | I too have suspected that there is possibly some male/female problems involved. But based on the Op’s discretion in her initial post have refrained from speculating about it. |
That was the elephant in the room that no one really wanted to talk about.
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Robert P
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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| trickg wrote: | | LittleRusty wrote: | | I too have suspected that there is possibly some male/female problems involved. But based on the Op’s discretion in her initial post have refrained from speculating about it. |
That was the elephant in the room that no one really wanted to talk about. |
I just now ran across this. It was the first thing that came to mind.
BbTrumpet1 - what was the nature of the falling out? Clearly there's more going on here.
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blbaumgarn
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Joined: 26 Jul 2017
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| Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2018 10:55 pm Post subject: Concert etiquette question |
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I hate to hear that in music a relationship could deteriorate so far as yours did with your prof. Short of transferring you could talk to administrators of the school about what has happened to guarantee Someone mentioned playing juries. If the professor can't give an objective written performance review they shouldn't be there. The short time I played in college I did juries twice and all the brass faculty all had so much class that if they had suggested jumping off the top of the school of music I probably would have done it. Never give back negative behavior to you ex teacher no matter what happens and perhaps things can heal. Keulani had great advice. Be classy, have class and always give your best to the career you are pursuing. Hope you are soon past this unfortunate set of circumstances.
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LaTrompeta
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Location: West Side, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2018 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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We should, of course, take this with a grain of salt -- none of us know the OP or the situation.
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razeontherock
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| Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2018 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| LaTrompeta wrote: | | We should, of course, take this with a grain of salt -- none of us know the OP or the situation. |
True, but I strongly suspect this Prof needs to be punched in the face, lol.
Distracting to "see someone" while you're performing?!? Excuse me, but if he doesn't grasp the concept of live performance why in the world is he allowed to teach? |
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luannkh
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:45 am Post subject: Response |
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| It sounds like he was being overly sensitive, and that you didn't do anything wrong or considered an etiquette "no-no". But since you clearly feel so badly about it, it might be good for your spirit to "take the high road" and send him an old-fashioned, handwritten note to let him know you meant nothing by your seat choice and to wish him success in the future. It would put you in a higher position and clear your mind and spirit of any further negativity. |
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LittleRusty
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 10:10 am Post subject: Re: Response |
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| luannkh wrote: | | It sounds like he was being overly sensitive, and that you didn't do anything wrong or considered an etiquette "no-no". But since you clearly feel so badly about it, it might be good for your spirit to "take the high road" and send him an old-fashioned, handwritten note to let him know you meant nothing by your seat choice and to wish him success in the future. It would put you in a higher position and clear your mind and spirit of any further negativity. |
Considering the drama the OP described and the interaction restrictions put in place by the school, in my opinion this is really bad advice. |
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luannkh
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:30 pm Post subject: Re: Response |
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| LittleRusty wrote: | | Considering the drama the OP described and the interaction restrictions put in place by the school, in my opinion this is really bad advice. |
Other than her position in the auditorium that night, it didn't appear to me that there was any sort of restriction regarding their interaction with each other, especially since he was able to make the comments he did. IMHO, it's always best for the soul to try and sort things out and smooth things over. I've never been sorry for trying. |
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LittleRusty
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2018 1:57 pm Post subject: Re: Response |
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| luannkh wrote: | | LittleRusty wrote: | | Considering the drama the OP described and the interaction restrictions put in place by the school, in my opinion this is really bad advice. |
Other than her position in the auditorium that night, it didn't appear to me that there was any sort of restriction regarding their interaction with each other, especially since he was able to make the comments he did. IMHO, it's always best for the soul to try and sort things out and smooth things over. I've never been sorry for trying. |
You should read the whole thread. 
| BbTrumpet1 wrote: | | I'm no longer required to participate in or attend anything associated with him and alternative arrangements are made for events such as juries. |
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BbTrumpet1
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| Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Robert P wrote: | | trickg wrote: | | LittleRusty wrote: | | I too have suspected that there is possibly some male/female problems involved. But based on the Op’s discretion in her initial post have refrained from speculating about it. |
That was the elephant in the room that no one really wanted to talk about. |
I just now ran across this. It was the first thing that came to mind.
BbTrumpet1 - what was the nature of the falling out? Clearly there's more going on here. |
There is a lot going on. All I can say is that I was one of the top students, I came prepared to each lesson, and earned perfect grades. I left the studio on my own terms-- not the other way around, for safety. I am still majoring in classical trumpet, I am still attending school on scholarship, but had to be provided an alternative way of doing so. Unfortunately, things are not over because incidents like these keep occurring. I have to constantly prepare myself for the worst so that I don't completely break down when the "next storm hits." One does not make the decision of giving up opportunities such as belonging to a studio, working with an amazing player whose students have a 100% job rate fresh out of college, or benefiting off of their huge network of connections lightly. I feel I did not make things clear enough in my OP which caused a lot of confusion. I really can't go into the specifics though.
Last edited by BbTrumpet1 on Sun Aug 19, 2018 2:02 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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