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BbTrumpet1 Regular Member
Joined: 14 Nov 2017 Posts: 30
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 1:51 pm Post subject: Re: Response |
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LittleRusty wrote: | luannkh wrote: | It sounds like he was being overly sensitive, and that you didn't do anything wrong or considered an etiquette "no-no". But since you clearly feel so badly about it, it might be good for your spirit to "take the high road" and send him an old-fashioned, handwritten note to let him know you meant nothing by your seat choice and to wish him success in the future. It would put you in a higher position and clear your mind and spirit of any further negativity. |
Considering the drama the OP described and the interaction restrictions put in place by the school, in my opinion this is really bad advice. |
I would have felt bad if everyone in this thread told me what I did was wrong, but seeing as the majority does not find it rude to sit near the stage (some people are still insinuating that I sat in the front row because of the threat title (the professor claims I did but I was actually 5-6 rows back behind other audience members)) I do not feel guilty. I also do not wish to mend this relationship or have any contact at all. I understand that it is important to keep positive connections but lets just say I would prefer to struggle and make it on my own than to tolerate what I was expected to. Not trying to be rude, I know that nobody understands what has happened, but the point of this post was mainly to identify if I had done something wrong. I appreciate the advice. |
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BbTrumpet1 Regular Member
Joined: 14 Nov 2017 Posts: 30
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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kehaulani wrote: | Seymor B Fudd wrote: | +1! My thoughts went that way to - sorry to say I didnĀ“t mention it. Good you did! |
+2
When I was in H.S. there was a very good girl trumpet player, better than most. Her trumpet teacher encouraged her, at the end of the senior year, to play French horn because she "didn't have any *****". So she made the change.
Ironically, she wound up studying at one of the Royal Schools of Music in England. But she was bullied into the switch. It wasn't her choice. |
Ouch, reading that almost hurts. Me being a woman does play a significant role in this falling out.. people would not BELIEVE what goes on, that is all I will say about that.
On another note, as a female trumpet player, I have sat second to men who could not play half as well as I could-- in more ensembles than I can count directors have had to hand over their first chair players' solo parts so that I could play them because they weren't capable, or my sound was more ideal. I had to work so hard that I played in a whole different league than my male peers before my teachers could show any form of respect for me as a fellow musician. I've had many teachers tell me that I had a beautiful sound and wonderful technique, but would never get far because "girls' lungs are too small.." I'm 5'2", 105 lbs, but I constantly receive compliments on my big sound-- even when I'm just warming up, teachers, strangers, performers approach me and compliment me on it. Thankfully, my new trumpet professor believes that it is absolute BS and that with some coaching in relaxation and breathing technique, the sky is the limit for my playing. Even some of my teachers that I still really respect have made the mistake of initially expecting less out of me because I am a female.
I really hope that people in this community will call out this kind of treatment when they see it. I am nowhere near being a "feminist," but excusing sexism in music as people "stuck in the past" and having the mentality that when it happens, it isn't everyone's problem is so toxic. Even if it doesn't bother you that it leads to many great female musicians being driven away, the dangerous power dynamic it can potentially lead to should. |
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trickg Heavyweight Member
Joined: 02 Jan 2002 Posts: 5675 Location: Glen Burnie, Maryland
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:35 am Post subject: |
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It's unfortunate that this misconception still exists and persists. I've known a bunch of very talented, very capable players in my years as a musician, and I've never wanted to try to categorize them as men or women - if they could play, they could play, period. I wonder if Liesl Whitaker was ever told she'd never make it as a player because she's a woman. Talk about a scorching lead player!
Good luck in your future endeavors as a musician! _________________ Patrick Gleason
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"95% of the average 'weekend warrior's' problems will be solved by an additional 30 minutes of insightful practice." - PLP |
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Dale Proctor Heavyweight Member
Joined: 26 May 2005 Posts: 9343 Location: Heart of Dixie
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 9:32 am Post subject: |
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Make sure you attend all his future performances, and sit front row center...
Seriously, though, just be nice to the jerk if you run into him, and try to avoid the big baby when you can.
I once refused to play in a band that was accompanying a soloist. He threw a prima donna fit during the rehearsal and I didn't participate in or attend the concert. He was so full of himself that I doubt he even noticed I wasn't there (and I was playing the solo 1st part at the time). _________________ "Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away ." - Sir Thomas Beecham |
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