Monster Oil

Monster Oil · Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:18 pm Post subject: Monster Oil

Hi everybody! Just wanted to let you all know about a new company in town – Monster Oil. Our aim is to get your gear so well-lubricated that you jump for joy, shout like a child, and maybe even pass a little gas.

Monster Oil’s products include 3 different valve oils (Original, Smoother, and Faster), a light slide oil, and a heavy slide grease.

Original is probably best for most folks,
But for those of you who play horns with very close valve tolerances, Faster may be the one.
Smoother is only for horns that need a very thick oil.
The slide oil is for slides you want to move on the fly (such as trumpet 1st and 3rd slides),
And the grease is very heavy - works great on slides you want to stay put.

The base oil is the cleanest synthetic on the market and has been used in the aerospace industry and NASA for many years. We have been working with our supplier for the last twelve months to achieve the best “cocktail” of ingredients we could find. We are all professional trumpet players and used this on the job for the last year until it was perfect.

As far as ingredients – it's as simple as valve oil gets. Just 3 ingredients: Base oil (for the slippery), solvent (to achieve the right viscosity and keep things clean), and a copper passivator (to keep the corrosion away). The trick was finding the proper amounts and types of these ingredients – which we finally did!

We are an all-American company – our oil, packaging, and Schwarzeneggeresque (it's a word, look it up) physiques are all made in the States. We also don't use animal testing for any of our products.

As for smell, Monster Oil is nearly odorless. We know because we asked a bloodhound who promptly yawned, licked his…leg a few times, and went back to sleep – clearly indicating nothing interesting.

You're probably asking yourself, “Who is behind the Monster”? Good question. You're welcome. We are all trumpet players in the U.S. Coast Guard Band - Chris Lane, Tom Brown, and Joel Baroody – also known as Cookie, Brownie, and, uh... Joel. Our job has allowed us to use this oil in many places people only dream of going – places like Groton, CT, New London, CT, and Norwich, CT.

Oil can be purchased at our website:

www.MonsterOil.net

We are running a Grand Opening special too! If you buy any two products, we will give you a third for free! That's zero dollars and zero cents (for any violists who may be tuning in).

If you frequent the Facebooks or the Twittersphere, we are:

https://www.facebook.com/monsteroilLLC

@MonsterOils

Please come like us, or tweet on us, or whatever it is you’re supposed to do.

There are more surprises coming in the near future – we've heard rumors about an interview series of famous brass players, and various contests. Keep an eye out for these.

We are committed to maintaining a relationship with the brass community for the long haul. To that end we offer this:

If you order an oil from us and feel that it is the wrong viscosity, we will send you a different viscosity oil free of charge! We know of no other company that offers this. We want you to be a customer for life, and will do anything to make you happy. (cue Meatloaf - “But we won't do that...”)

Thanks for taking the time to check out our products! Now get back to practicing.

Best,

The Monster Oil Team:

Chris Lane
Tom Brown
Joel Baroody

www.monsteroil.net

TrumpetJoel · Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:31 pm Post subject:

I've seen a lot of valve oil threads here on the TH in my day...if anybody has any questions at all related to valve oil topics previously covered on TH and how they relate to Monster Oil, or other totally new questions, I'm always happy to answer anything at all from anybody, so feel free to PM me. Or Tom!
_________________
Principal Trumpet, United States Coast Guard Band
Co-President/Supreme Chancellor of Lubrication, Monster Oil LLC
www.monsteroil.net

TrumpetJoel · Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:32 pm Post subject:

...or Chris, but I can't remember if he has a TH account or not...that's why I left him out.
_________________
Principal Trumpet, United States Coast Guard Band
Co-President/Supreme Chancellor of Lubrication, Monster Oil LLC
www.monsteroil.net

ProAm · Heavyweight Member Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 949

Very funny, witty and entertaining website.

But why should I switch from Ultra Pure or Hetman's to your brand? What does Monster offer that other synthetics do not?

Can you answer that seriously?

Monster Oil · Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 7:40 pm Post subject:

Monster Oil · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 6:07 pm Post subject:

Just wanted to let you all know we are currently being carried at Dillon Music in Woodbridge, NJ.

Grab some when you get a chance!

mchs3d · Veteran Member Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Posts: 460

I'm interested. Not 100% happy with Hetman's and the other oil I liked...disappeared. By the way, ever make it out to Old Saybrook? That side of the river is awful nice.

Monster Oil · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:13 pm Post subject:

The Monkey Farm is one of my favorite spots! Haven't been in awhile though.

Give Monster a shot - if you hate it I'll meet you in Old Saybrook, buy you a beer, and personally hand you a refund!

BraeGrimes · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:20 pm Post subject:

Is your lubricant petroleum based or synthetic?

mchs3d · Veteran Member Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Posts: 460

razeontherock · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:56 pm Post subject:

jvand678 · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:42 pm Post subject:

Monster Oil · Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 7:58 am Post subject:

spach · Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 8:33 am Post subject:

I remember in a previous post an OP mentioning he had thought about commercializing his valve oil formulation, but decided against it because of government regulations requiring press fit rather than less expensive screw on caps. Which do you use? Also, I use an oil based somewhat on the formula used by Tony Scodwell. It's also odorless, fast, lasting, and additionally doesn't feel sluggish on cold mornings (it will "freeze", though, if left out in the cold). It costs me about $.50 an ounce to mix up. How much would 32 ounces of Monster cost me?
_________________
WayneG
1925 (or '34) MEHA (#878**)(.460)(4 3/4" bell)(32.6 oz.)
"Where, then, does the soul reside with its better body while it awaits the sound of the trumpet?"--Stephen J. Gould

mm55 · Heavyweight Member Joined: 01 Jul 2013 Posts: 1412

Monster Oil · Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:15 pm Post subject:

silverhorn · Heavyweight Member Joined: 08 Jan 2003 Posts: 681

Sounds interesting. For me, the valve oil safari ranks third behind the mouthpiece and trumpet safari. I've tried many great oils and am always looking for the ultimate oil for my horns. Is this oil non-toxic and does it leave any residues on the valves? Is it as fast or faster than the current top oils on the market?

Monster Oil · Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 3:47 pm Post subject:

mchs3d · Veteran Member Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Posts: 460

I bought some...

Monster Oil · Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:53 pm Post subject:

Thanks! Please let us know what you think after you try it.