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Trumpet player jokes!


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brokennoterepairs
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Joined: 09 Apr 2009
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Location: Red Lion, PA

PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 12:51 pm    Post subject: Trumpet player jokes! Reply with quote

Q: How do you know when you've just met a trumpeter?
A: When he shakes your hand and says, "Hi, I'm (name) and I'm better than you."

Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one to change it, but all the others will talk about how they could have done it better.

Q: What is perfect pitch?
A: Tossing a trumpet into a garbage can and not hitting the sides!

(It's all in fun...no need to get excited...the same above applies to clarinet players too!)
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jazz-o-matic 12
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: what is the most common birth control used by trumpet players?
A: their personality
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camel
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: a trumpetplayer and a conductor are standing in the middle of the street. Who will you run over first?

A: the conductor. Business before pleasure
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brokennoterepairs
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Location: Red Lion, PA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...

How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof!
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BeboppinFool
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Joined: 28 Dec 2001
Posts: 6262
Location: AVL|NC|USA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

brokennoterepairs wrote:
How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...

How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof!


I looked you up, Brian . . . here's what I found:

at his http://thebrokennote.com/aboutus.aspx website, Brian wrote:
When it comes to playing music Brian is mainly a drummer/percussionist, but dabbles in the bass guitar. He also plays every brass and woodwind instrument for testing purposes after service.

You're not a trumpet player . . . you took a bunch of guitar and trombone jokes and tried to make them trumpet jokes, and they're simply not funny that way. A joke has to be based on truth to be funny.

But it was a nice try.

By the way, what do you call somebody who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer!


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brokennoterepairs
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Joined: 09 Apr 2009
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Location: Red Lion, PA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

With all the drummer/percussionist jokes floating around, can you blame me?

I scanned the Reveille section one afternoon and saw all the sad/serious/angry topics floating around and thought 'this section needs something light-hearted, life is too short'.

Anyone know any good repair technician jokes?

There is a hilarious video on YouTube titled 'Roy's Food Repair', starring John Candy in an early 80's variety show skit. I laughed so hard upon seeing it because it reminded me so much of daily events at my shop.

Certainly worth a look if you're in need of a laugh.
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skootchy
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of drummers....Q: What does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth??
A: The stage is level!
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fraserhutch
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tyhat's pretty good I heard that one as

What did the drummer get on his SATs?

Drool.
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A.N.A.Mendez
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BeboppinFool wrote:
brokennoterepairs wrote:
How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...

How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof!


I looked you up, Brian . . . here's what I found:

at his http://thebrokennote.com/aboutus.aspx website, Brian wrote:
When it comes to playing music Brian is mainly a drummer/percussionist, but dabbles in the bass guitar. He also plays every brass and woodwind instrument for testing purposes after service.

You're not a trumpet player . . . you took a bunch of guitar and trombone jokes and tried to make them trumpet jokes, and they're simply not funny that way. A joke has to be based on truth to be funny.

But it was a nice try.

By the way, what do you call somebody who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer!





"Tough crowd!"

Rodney Dangerfield
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brokennoterepairs
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Location: Red Lion, PA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:




"Tough crowd!"

Rodney Dangerfield



"I get no respect"

Rodney Dangerfield
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jazz-o-matic 12
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A child gleefully exclaims to his mother: "when i become a grown up i wanna be a trumpet player!

his mother responds: "well you need to pick, your surely can't do both!"
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FujiiFilm
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was recently told this joke by a flute player...
Q: What unleashes terror on the high seas?
A: Trumpets!
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thaxterj1
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:49 am    Post subject: This one needs a little thought.... Reply with quote

Told to me by a very nice lady at an Xmas gig:

What is the difference between a seamstress and a trumpet player?

The seamstress tucks up frills and the trumpet player........

Give it a minute, it will come to you!
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fraserhutch
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Joined: 09 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

One - he just holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him....
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Craig Swartz
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Frasier, that's a standard soprano joke! No fair.

For help:
http://www.geocities.com/clarinet_girl7537/jokes.html

http://gimp137.tripod.com/myfun.com/id16.html

Lots more if you Google.

I like: What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?

Gifted

(The one above about the conductor and the trumpet player isn't a joke...)
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ConnArtist
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: How many trombone players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Who cares.
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ghsdirector
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you get a drummer to shut up?

Put music in front of him.
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ghsdirector
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you say to a banjo player in a suit?

"Will the defendant please rise..."
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dcompton11976
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Joined: 08 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you help a struggling percussionist?


Take one stick away and have him conduct.
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ldwoods
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: How do you make your trumpet sound like a French Horn?

A: Stick your hand in the bell and miss most of the notes...
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