Auditions and Anxiety

[BbTrumpet1]

Ensemble auditions are coming up for me at my school and even though I feel prepared, I have huge performance anxiety issues that always hamper my ability to play.

My former professor told me that I need to take medicine for my anxiety. He told me to take either beta blockers or Xanax. Most of my symptoms are physical-- very dry mouth, heightened heart-rate, shakiness, even stomach pain/nausea. It is beyond relaxation breathing exercises and I'm not sure what could help. My doctor gave me Xanax in case I would like to use it, but I also know that other musicians can tell when someone is using it and that it slows down your brain. I am torn between using it, or going into the audition knowing I won't be able to play to my best ability. I am very interested in the idea of beta blockers, but I have low blood pressure already and am not sure how safe it could be.

Please share any advice that has helped you successfully audition or with your performance anxiety in general!

[TKSop]

Mindset is important - it's very easy to create a vicious cycle where you, in effect, talk yourself into becoming more and more nervous each time you perform...
Equally, focus on the positive side of each performance can help some people - if you played well last time you were under pressure, remind yourself that you can and do play well under pressure... When you then, again, play well under pressure you can reinforce that - before you know it, its possible to be feeling a whole lot less discomfort.
And heck, you wouldn't be where you are now without having performed under pressure, right?

It's possible that a little therapy would help.

I can't really comment on drugs other than to say the few people I've known who performed on beta blockers didn't seem to play noticeably differently.

[blbaumgarn]

I was a leading candidate for self fulfilled failure when young. I never used beta blockers or xanax but became an alcoholic, which I think means I had trouble dealing with life as life is when I was younger. About the last audition I had for entrance into college I just took a "to hell with it" attitude. Even using a drug the best you can play is the best you can play. Practice some slowing yourself down excercizes and deep breathing. I know your problem is real because I have been there. You are asking in a forum of concerned musicians and I don't think anyone would lead you too far astray. Good Luck
_________________
"There are two sides to a trumpeter's personality,
there is one that lives to lay waste to woodwinds and strings, leaving them lie blue and lifeless along a swath of destruction that is a
trumpeter's fury-then there is the dark side!" Irving Bush

[Anthony Miller]

I found some good advice and techniques at bulletproof musician.
https://bulletproofmusician.com/blog/

[Jerry]

Hypnotism worked wonders for me.

[Brad361]

I had similar problems when I was in college, and while I don’t have a good suggestion for you (OP), medications like Xanax can be very addictive, and it doesn’t address the problem, only masks the symptoms. Honestly, I cannot imagine a professor advising that for a student, I also wonder about a doctor prescribing it for a performance anxiety problem.

Again, I don’t have a good suggestion here, my problem with performance anxiety simply went away with age and experience. I do get that it is a problem, but I would certainly try relaxation techniques and / or everything else I could think of before using a potentially addictive benzodiazepine.

Brad
_________________
When asked if he always sounds great:
"I always try, but not always, because the horn is merciless, unpredictable and traitorous." - Arturo Sandoval

[Arbanator]

Maybe you could mimic your audition worries in the practice room. A few years ago, I went to a master class about this sort of problem conducted by David Childs. He talked about winning a prize as the best young brass (or perhaps euphonium) player in Britain early in his career. His prize was the opportunity to play a solo with, I think, the BBC Orchestra on national TV. He said he knew he could play the solo with no problem, but he was worried his playing would suffer if he had an anxiety attack on stage and was sweating profusely because of the stage lights. His solution was to try to duplicate the anticipated circumstances in the practice room. So, he said, he practiced after running up and down the stairs (to get his heart beating fast to mimic an adrenaline rush) and after smearing vasoline on his lips (to mimic the effect of profusely sweating). Having practiced under those circumstances made him much more confident when he was on stage. My guess is that this procedure may have been suggested by his father Bob, who was also no slouch on the euphonium.

[Seymor B Fudd]

[jicetp]

Not a suggestion but merely an observation :

some months ago, I had a major audition in front of some big trumpet players.

I could feel months/weeks before tension was crawling, just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, I had an accident two days prior of the audition ( while shopping for some clothes for that event, I cut my finger in the dressing room so hard that I had to get surgery...blah-blah-blah ).

This ' shock ' ( pain / afraid to ' loose ' some finger control..... ) led me to the event as quiet as I have ever been. No shakes, butterflires, whatsoever.....

Maybe the medecine I was given or the after-shock process...dunno......

I so did had a mostly great time playing in front of these people....except that I could hardly hodl the trumpet with my left hand, let alone moving the slides.....

[Seymor B Fudd]