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Trumpet player jokes!


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kentjames
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a little late to this game, but my JR. high band director buddy told me this one. Hey Kent, what's the difference between the conductor and the
percussion section. Well, usually about 2 beats
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ghelbig
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: How can you tell that it's a Trumpet Player at the door?

A: Doesn't know which key to use, and doesn't know when to enter.
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Rapier232
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between a trombone and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
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dstdenis
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between saxophone and a vacuum cleaner?
Vibrato.
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swthiel
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once heard of a bass player who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train.
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ghelbig
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

swthiel wrote:
I once heard of a bass player who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train.


Bass player was complaining that the guitar player had detuned one of his strings.

Piano player asked what the big deal was.

Bass player answered: "The b@stard won't tell me which one!"
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TheLip
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Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Posts: 57
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not exactly a joke, but for those familiar with "A Tuba Christmas" here's "Why there is no Trumpet Christmas."

http://youtu.be/kfodl1g_ibY

Couldn't stop laughing.
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the_lip
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah yes, the "Tasty Bros" strike again...
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MTBDude
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alright I've got a few:

What's the difference between a Drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one in before it starts to suck


What do you do with a trumpet player who can't play?
Give him two drum sticks.
What do you do when he can't play drums?
Take one away and make him a conductor.

Santa, an out of tune trumpet player, and an in tune trumpet player are all hitch hiking. Which one do you pick up?

The out of tune trumpet player because the others don't exist
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majdan
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between a trumpeter and a large pizza?

I large pizza can feed a family of four
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Avan
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A.N.A.Mendez wrote:
BeboppinFool wrote:
brokennoterepairs wrote:
How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...

How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof!


I looked you up, Brian . . . here's what I found:

at his http://thebrokennote.com/aboutus.aspx website, Brian wrote:
When it comes to playing music Brian is mainly a drummer/percussionist, but dabbles in the bass guitar. He also plays every brass and woodwind instrument for testing purposes after service.

You're not a trumpet player . . . you took a bunch of guitar and trombone jokes and tried to make them trumpet jokes, and they're simply not funny that way. A joke has to be based on truth to be funny.

But it was a nice try.

By the way, what do you call somebody who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer!





"Tough crowd!"

Rodney Dangerfield


NO !! Just got BUSTED !! LOL
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razeontherock
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We need the whisper key: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4Z-BQitMuc
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ThePhishyTrumpeter
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love these jokes!
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jungledoc
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Time to bump this up! Obviously, it has evolved into other-instrument jokes.


Which is better, an oboe or a bassoon?

Obviously, the bassoon. It'll burn 3 or 4 times longer than an oboe!
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deleted_user_02066fd
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you hear the one about the guy who left his accordion in the back seat of his car in a really bad neighborhood?
When he got back to his car the window was broken and there were two accordions in the back seat.
What do you call an accordionist with a business card?
An optimist!
Which instrument will burn faster, an accordion or the bagpipes?
Who cares.
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Freddude30
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you do if there's a bloody trumpet player running in your yard?

STOP LAUGHING AND KEEP SHOOTING!!!
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Turkle
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This isn't a joke per se, but I always laugh about this story:

Bill Chase drove some fancy sports car. At a party, a woman asked what he did for a living. He replied that he was a trumpet player.

The woman, shocked, asked "you can afford a car like that by playing the trumpet??"

Chase replied, "well, I also play the flugelhorn."

Someone who knows this story better than me can maybe fill in some of the details! But I chuckle whenever I think of it.
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1962 Conn 38a
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2015 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 38a is a fantastic cornet,
but it is a less-than-ideal bra size.

Rocky
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1962 Conn 38a
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the 1940's there was a ventriloquist named Edgar Bergen who had a very popular show on radio.
A ventriloquist on the radio.
And he made millions of dollars doing it.
Look it up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Bergen

I've decided to make a million dollars with a similar idea.
I'm gonna have a magic show on radio.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am gonna make this rabbit disappear.
The rabbit has now disappeared.
Trust me, the rabbi has disappeared.
I am now gonna make the rabbi re-appear.
The rabbit has now re-appeared.
Trust me, the rabbit has now re-appeared."

What does that have to do with trumpets?
Every time I perform an amazing feat of magic,
I will finish with a recording of a trumpet playing "ta-tata-ta!!!".

Rocky
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1962 Conn 38a
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trumpet players brag about doing "sight-reading".

Trumpet players are proud of their ability to use their sight to read...

What do they think that everyone else does?
"Smell-reading"?
"Taste-reading"?

Rocky
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