What to do...What to do...

troyboy · New Member Joined: 05 Jun 2003 Posts: 7

Has anyone out there ever had a very difficult choice to make and not sure what to do? I am sure you all have. Maybe you can give me some suggestions. I taught public school band (5th and 6th grade) for several years. I was very good at what I did. I now am playing trumpet for the army and am enjoying it very much. I have had thoughts of going back to teaching but I am afraid I have that problem of the "grass is always greener on the other side."
I am also feeling like by me playing trumpet I am not realy helping the world. I am only helping myself and feel selfish about it form time to time. Sounds crazy doesn't it. Well I hope someone out there can shed some light on my problems and choices.

Thanks,

Troyboy

hazmat · Heavyweight Member Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Posts: 669

That's the reason I'm double majoring in education and performance right now. I can't decide which I like better (and yes I have taught before).

senea · Veteran Member Joined: 19 Mar 2003 Posts: 131

That happened to me.

I took a year off both. No teaching and no gigging. I played a little and I was an aide at a day care for a few months of that time (employment sucked at the time and that's with 2 degrees), so I did continue both but not at a beneficial level.

My decision: I missed being and interacting with kids very much, but I missed playing with other musicians more than anything I have ever missed before. It was a complete void in my being that nothing else could fill.

The crappy part is that you feel like the world is improving regardless of your existence, but, it is an amazing feeling to know exactly what you want for yourself.

good luck
senea

trickg · Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2003 4:04 pm Post subject:

Troy, where are you stationed? That, in my opinon, makes all the difference in the world for how much you are enjoying your Army Band existence. If you are in one of the premier Army Bands (Field Band, Pershing's Own, West Point or the FDC) then I'd probably stick if I were you.

I had a major case of "the grass is always greener" back in the late 90s and got out of the Old Guard FDC in 1999. I have had moments where I really regret getting out, and I was only playing bugle there! However, my paycheck was a sure thing as long as I kept reenlisting.

Now I'm a database programmer and I'm playing in so many groups on the side trying to get my horn fill that my life is a hectic mess. If I had a way to make things simpler, other than quitting the various music groups that I play with, I would.

Good luck with your decision. Email me if you want more detail about what my life was like back then, what it is now and why I decided to leave the Army.
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kehaulani · Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2003 3:56 am Post subject:

Troy - I wouldn't tell you which is the better choice for you, but I can, from personal experience, tell you that it is easy sometimes to underestimate, or ignore altogether, just what your music can do for others.

As an Army bandsman, you give the troops at parades and ceremonies and extra dimension when they hear that bass drum pounding and the band playing. They may not even be aware of it, but they march straighter and prouder. I've been to bases that have had no bands for some time, gone to the practice parades with recorded music, and then seen the change at parades when a live band was there.

These folks need that. They need that emotional connection when they go into battle, or harder still, when they are spending all their time training and wondering what their goals actually are.

Also, as an Army bandsman, you make an impression of youth who may be sitting on the fence about joining or not. And when you play 4th of July events for the general community, it instills the listeners with a great sense of heritage and pride.

Naturally, you probably give more "serious" music in concert performances, and often to a grey-haired crowd, which is not often a real stimulating experience for younger players who want to get off to the 17-32 crowd with contemporary pop. But these folks are often ignored in America's youth-oriented society. You can be sure they are greatful for the attention and for the music.

Now, I'm not patriotic. Actually, I do not live in the US, but your question is about the worth of your work to others and these are things I have seen and experienced.

Keep in mind also, that, while those kids are wonderful and at a great age, there's a frustrating side to that profession, both from kids who have no respect or incentive (not a general accusation), from parents who want you to raise their kids by default, yet are all too willing to intrude in your relation with these kids, and a bureaucracy which is the "Peter Principle" incarnate.

The grass IS always greener. It's only until you step into that pasture that you realize there's ka-ka on your shoes.

Don't underestimate the impact of your work in the Army.

Cheers, kehaulani

[ This Message was edited by: kehaulani on 2003-11-26 07:01 ]

troyboy · New Member Joined: 05 Jun 2003 Posts: 7

Dear Everyone,

I can not tell you all how much your comments have ment to me. I have had a few days off for Thanksgiving and have had time to think about things. I hadn't read any posts since I posted my first question to everyone. I am so glad there are people out there who care about others and want to help. In a world, that is for the most part "cut throat," your comments have been a great uplift to me.

It is difficult at times, to fill I am doing any good in this big world, but with the above coments you have really helped me in understanding a few things about myself. Thanks a million and I will continue to drive on and see what paths may be ahead.

Troy

4Him · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2003 5:25 pm Post subject:

Troy-

I appreciate how you framed your statement and problem. What you have said indicates a classic case of the "truth to self" and "What should I be giving the world?" conflict.

Troy, if you believe that there is a path for you that is perfect and right, you must follow it. As elements come into your space, learn from them and follow your heart and your head. There is a decision by which you will never need to have regret. Teaching and performing are two wonderful gifts--- both of great value to those we are meant to impact. Follow what your heart tells you to do from a place free of preconceived judgments.

Email me if you want to talk further about decision making. Sometimes I can help.

Ken

pjtpt · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2003 6:56 pm Post subject:

Troy,

It sounds like you've got a "play vs. teach" question. I know it's a cop out but do both! I've been teaching for 7 years (going on my eighth) and I'm still looking for that balance. I just got done teaching a private lesson with a beginning 6th grader--what fun! I really enjoy working with the young kids because they're like little sponges soaking up every little thing you do and say. I could hear a difference in his sound at the end of the half hour because he was listening to my sound.

Long story short: I moved from a place where I played often to a place where I play very little and I miss playing my horn. I've strictly been a high school band director at my current gig for 3 years but something's missing: my trumpet. When I play I realize what I can bring to my teaching. I know intellectually that if I'm not growing I'm dying but I'm still not playing as much as I should.

This probably doesn't help much but hopefully you can keep your foot in the pedagogical door by teaching, doing sectionals for a local school, whatever to keep all parts of you musicianship growing an happy.

Good luck.