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BbTrumpet1 Regular Member
Joined: 14 Nov 2017 Posts: 30
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:58 pm Post subject: Auditions and Anxiety |
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Ensemble auditions are coming up for me at my school and even though I feel prepared, I have huge performance anxiety issues that always hamper my ability to play.
My former professor told me that I need to take medicine for my anxiety. He told me to take either beta blockers or Xanax. Most of my symptoms are physical-- very dry mouth, heightened heart-rate, shakiness, even stomach pain/nausea. It is beyond relaxation breathing exercises and I'm not sure what could help. My doctor gave me Xanax in case I would like to use it, but I also know that other musicians can tell when someone is using it and that it slows down your brain. I am torn between using it, or going into the audition knowing I won't be able to play to my best ability. I am very interested in the idea of beta blockers, but I have low blood pressure already and am not sure how safe it could be.
Please share any advice that has helped you successfully audition or with your performance anxiety in general! |
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TKSop Heavyweight Member
Joined: 23 Feb 2014 Posts: 1735 Location: UK
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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Mindset is important - it's very easy to create a vicious cycle where you, in effect, talk yourself into becoming more and more nervous each time you perform...
Equally, focus on the positive side of each performance can help some people - if you played well last time you were under pressure, remind yourself that you can and do play well under pressure... When you then, again, play well under pressure you can reinforce that - before you know it, its possible to be feeling a whole lot less discomfort.
And heck, you wouldn't be where you are now without having performed under pressure, right?
It's possible that a little therapy would help.
I can't really comment on drugs other than to say the few people I've known who performed on beta blockers didn't seem to play noticeably differently. |
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blbaumgarn Heavyweight Member
Joined: 26 Jul 2017 Posts: 705
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 10:54 pm Post subject: Auditions and Anxiety |
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I was a leading candidate for self fulfilled failure when young. I never used beta blockers or xanax but became an alcoholic, which I think means I had trouble dealing with life as life is when I was younger. About the last audition I had for entrance into college I just took a "to hell with it" attitude. Even using a drug the best you can play is the best you can play. Practice some slowing yourself down excercizes and deep breathing. I know your problem is real because I have been there. You are asking in a forum of concerned musicians and I don't think anyone would lead you too far astray. Good Luck _________________ "There are two sides to a trumpeter's personality,
there is one that lives to lay waste to woodwinds and strings, leaving them lie blue and lifeless along a swath of destruction that is a
trumpeter's fury-then there is the dark side!" Irving Bush |
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Anthony Miller Regular Member
Joined: 01 Nov 2016 Posts: 78 Location: Ryedale, North Yorkshire, UK
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Jerry Heavyweight Member
Joined: 20 Jan 2002 Posts: 2163 Location: Kennett Square, Pennsylvania
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 8:57 am Post subject: |
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Hypnotism worked wonders for me. |
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Brad361 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 16 Dec 2007 Posts: 7080 Location: Houston, TX.
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 8:31 am Post subject: |
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I had similar problems when I was in college, and while I don’t have a good suggestion for you (OP), medications like Xanax can be very addictive, and it doesn’t address the problem, only masks the symptoms. Honestly, I cannot imagine a professor advising that for a student, I also wonder about a doctor prescribing it for a performance anxiety problem.
Again, I don’t have a good suggestion here, my problem with performance anxiety simply went away with age and experience. I do get that it is a problem, but I would certainly try relaxation techniques and / or everything else I could think of before using a potentially addictive benzodiazepine.
Brad _________________ When asked if he always sounds great:
"I always try, but not always, because the horn is merciless, unpredictable and traitorous." - Arturo Sandoval |
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Arbanator Veteran Member
Joined: 08 Oct 2008 Posts: 115 Location: McLean VA
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 11:35 am Post subject: |
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Maybe you could mimic your audition worries in the practice room. A few years ago, I went to a master class about this sort of problem conducted by David Childs. He talked about winning a prize as the best young brass (or perhaps euphonium) player in Britain early in his career. His prize was the opportunity to play a solo with, I think, the BBC Orchestra on national TV. He said he knew he could play the solo with no problem, but he was worried his playing would suffer if he had an anxiety attack on stage and was sweating profusely because of the stage lights. His solution was to try to duplicate the anticipated circumstances in the practice room. So, he said, he practiced after running up and down the stairs (to get his heart beating fast to mimic an adrenaline rush) and after smearing vasoline on his lips (to mimic the effect of profusely sweating). Having practiced under those circumstances made him much more confident when he was on stage. My guess is that this procedure may have been suggested by his father Bob, who was also no slouch on the euphonium. |
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Seymor B Fudd Heavyweight Member
Joined: 17 Oct 2015 Posts: 1473 Location: Sweden
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 7:16 am Post subject: Re: Auditions and Anxiety |
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BbTrumpet1 wrote: | Ensemble auditions are coming up for me at my school and even though I feel prepared, I have huge performance anxiety issues that always hamper my ability to play.
My former professor told me that I need to take medicine for my anxiety. He told me to take either beta blockers or Xanax. Most of my symptoms are physical-- very dry mouth, heightened heart-rate, shakiness, even stomach pain/nausea. It is beyond relaxation breathing exercises and I'm not sure what could help. My doctor gave me Xanax in case I would like to use it, but I also know that other musicians can tell when someone is using it and that it slows down your brain. I am torn between using it, or going into the audition knowing I won't be able to play to my best ability. I am very interested in the idea of beta blockers, but I have low blood pressure already and am not sure how safe it could be.
Please share any advice that has helped you successfully audition or with your performance anxiety in general! |
As TKsop writes its mostly about one´s mindset. I agree with his ideas.
Audition - the quintessence of being scrutinized and judged. But it is the result of this that is scary! If someone criticizes you - what do you feel? What scenario unfolds? Falling into the abyss of self-depreciation/will never ever become able to surface again/life´s ended/it´s not my trumpet playing that sucks, it´s me.........??? Shame is the name.
Reading your struggle with this bl-y patriarchal society - maybe there´s one ingredient in this anxiety - always believing you will have to not only be perfect but in fact better than that. I get thoroughly angry reading about your suffering. The appropriate response anger often turns inwards instead - so on the inner scene ”I´m the one to blame”. All these selfrighteous men, I mean ”grabbing.....” Small men with big egos who get the nerves to..... Sigh. I know, sweepingly stated. - but it helps nurturing the anger...
So on the inner scene a drama takes place. The nature of this drama is personal. Give your drama a name that alludes to the core of it. Might be alleviated by therapy but you can come a long way handling yourself. As suggested here close your eyes, try to evoke moments with this anxiety, stay with it (part of it is a conditioned response, probably inborn to ”get you on your feet”) and get acquainted with it, acknowledge that you are anxious – a typical mistake is pushing it away resulting in an additional struggle to hide basically normal reactions. ”Arbanator” relates an interesting concept – how to imitate a stressful situation – familiarize yourself with the physical reactions beforehand. Or imagine worst case scenario and record yourself – your are your worst critic - play until you know it by heart – then the music stand can fall apart, a judge get a coughing spell – you won´t notice cause you deep into the music (by the way – judge – anyone seen a criminal here...)
It is normal to feel anxiety in stressful situations – audition is one of them,for sure.
Go get them
ps one side effect by taking pills is that this could speak to that part of the mind that holds that you are the sick one. Your are not! _________________ Cornets: mp 143D3/ DW Ultra 1,5 C
Getzen 300 series
Yamaha YCRD2330II
Yamaha YCR6330II
Getzen Eterna Eb
Trumpets:
Yamaha 6335 RC Schilke 14B
King Super 20 Symphony DB (1970)
Selmer Eb/D trumpet (1974) |
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jicetp Heavyweight Member
Joined: 30 Mar 2004 Posts: 987
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Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:33 am Post subject: |
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Not a suggestion but merely an observation :
some months ago, I had a major audition in front of some big trumpet players.
I could feel months/weeks before tension was crawling, just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, I had an accident two days prior of the audition ( while shopping for some clothes for that event, I cut my finger in the dressing room so hard that I had to get surgery...blah-blah-blah ).
This ' shock ' ( pain / afraid to ' loose ' some finger control..... ) led me to the event as quiet as I have ever been. No shakes, butterflires, whatsoever.....
Maybe the medecine I was given or the after-shock process...dunno......
I so did had a mostly great time playing in front of these people....except that I could hardly hodl the trumpet with my left hand, let alone moving the slides..... |
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Seymor B Fudd Heavyweight Member
Joined: 17 Oct 2015 Posts: 1473 Location: Sweden
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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 2:21 am Post subject: |
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jicetp wrote: | Not a suggestion but merely an observation :
some months ago, I had a major audition in front of some big trumpet players.
I could feel months/weeks before tension was crawling, just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, I had an accident two days prior of the audition ( while shopping for some clothes for that event, I cut my finger in the dressing room so hard that I had to get surgery...blah-blah-blah ).
This ' shock ' ( pain / afraid to ' loose ' some finger control..... ) led me to the event as quiet as I have ever been. No shakes, butterflires, whatsoever.....
Maybe the medecine I was given or the after-shock process...dunno......
I so did had a mostly great time playing in front of these people....except that I could hardly hodl the trumpet with my left hand, let alone moving the slides..... |
jicetp wrote: | Not a suggestion but merely an observation :
some months ago, I had a major audition in front of some big trumpet players.
I could feel months/weeks before tension was crawling, just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, I had an accident two days prior of the audition ( while shopping for some clothes for that event, I cut my finger in the dressing room so hard that I had to get surgery...blah-blah-blah ).
This ' shock ' ( pain / afraid to ' loose ' some finger control..... ) led me to the event as quiet as I have ever been. No shakes, butterflires, whatsoever.....
Maybe the medecine I was given or the after-shock process...dunno......
I so did had a mostly great time playing in front of these people....except that I could hardly hodl the trumpet with my left hand, let alone moving the slides..... |
Could be an illustration of how your psyche tries to cope with this "fortunate" accident....namely to alter your attention, away from focusing on how to perform, instead directing the attention on how to avoid the wound to interfere; a kind of altered state of consciousness, ASC; even more dramatically illustrated in stories describing wounded soldiers running long distances holding their guts with their bare hands, not collapsing until they reached secure ground. Kinda life-preservering reflex kicking in.
This strategy might be utilized/applied more consciously but this requires training, automatization of a series of reactions. Not unfamiliar to yoga practicians - learn to concentrate on something that deflects your attention from the anxiety. Easy to say/write but might be practiced! _________________ Cornets: mp 143D3/ DW Ultra 1,5 C
Getzen 300 series
Yamaha YCRD2330II
Yamaha YCR6330II
Getzen Eterna Eb
Trumpets:
Yamaha 6335 RC Schilke 14B
King Super 20 Symphony DB (1970)
Selmer Eb/D trumpet (1974) |
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