How a thread turns bad...

[elExtranjero]

Perhaps you've all seen this before. I have, but after having been flamed here recently on several occasions and having seen several threads that became flame wars having absolutely nothing to do with the original topic, my Mother sent me this and I realized it's an excellent example of how our threads go bad. Read for yourself while you're thinking of the last "You're an idiot" "Yeah, well you're a dummy!" exchange you've seen here

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Grading papers isn't always so boring. Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me.

The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

THE STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerosp ace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
A$$hole.

(Gary)
Bitch

(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one
_________________
el Extranjero de la tierra extraña

[RBtrumpet08]

if only my teachers would give me an A+ for a story like that
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"Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone."

[trumpetmike]

[RBtrumpet08]

no fair! my english teacher hates me! she took 10 points of my essay because i was a tiny bit verbose. take out the few extra sentences she didnt like and it would have been like exactly 2 pages, which she said was how much we needed.
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"Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone."

[Podunkparte]

I loved my senior english class. I'd slack off all the time and joke around.... then about once every two to three weeks I'd say something actually competent enough so my teacher would say "Oh... yeah... wow, I never thought of it like that".... that bought me another couple a weeks.

elExtranjero, I love this... I laughed so hard. Killing off each other's character is the ultimate insult.
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Lawler TL6-1A #822 -Satin silver w/ polished trim
Bach TR200 -OUCH!

Monette B6
Marcinkiewicz E14 Shew 1
Bach 3C
Schilke 14A4A

[RBtrumpet08]

lol how true. it is also a way to end a story quickly for timed writing competitions. just kill the main character
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"Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone."

[jophst]

[RBtrumpet08]

[Adonias Wondwessen]

Wait....WHAT HAPPENS TO PLANET EARTH?!? Where is the President? Is Gary REALY dead, or did he just mutate into some sort of creature...maybe the Litium in the bombs did not vaporize, but make Laurie into a creature too...?!?!?!?
_________________
Arise to the occasion...

Arsenal...
King 601-Katherine
Monette B4L- Lucy

Battle Field...
University of North Texas School of Music

Position..
Entering freshman, Music Education

[KevinPierce]

Thats the sort of thing I write for my storys in english class. My teacher loves it

[RBtrumpet08]

i wish i could do that. my english teacher, mrs. luebbe.... i mean doctor luebbe (the luebbinator) wouldnt like it. grrr.

once teachers get over the fact that im still paying attention even though my head is lieing down, then they like me. doctor luebbe still hates me.
_________________
"Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone."

[KevinPierce]

the luebbinator is the most awesome thing you could call a teacher ever. If only it was allowed. My public speaking teachers classes all call him just plain Ralph.

[RBtrumpet08]

lol shed jug us if we called her that.
(JUG- justice under God.... a detention.
or JUG- justice under Grosser. Mr. Grosser is our dean of discipline. he scares the heck out of people. last drug bust at bacon, he comes out, grabs the kids and throws the kid against a locker and holds him against it till officials came. to intimidate you he takes a full fledged phone book a good 3 inches thick and rips it in half! i didnt even know that was possible! lol. but if you dont mess around, then hes awesome)
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"Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone."

[razeontherock]

My best friend had a little "encounter" w/ a teacher like that. The teacher went to the hospital, being daring enough to try to break up a fight my best friend was in. But this was in 7th grade!

We need more teachers like trumpetmike had.

[trumpetmike]

[uli]

I had a German teacher once refuse to give me a mark as she said:
As a accident report it would be an F, but as a piece of humour it is definitely A. No mark this time, but better make something serious next time.
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[jcmacman]

I loved my senior English class. The teacher let us play Poker in the back of the class room as long as no money was shown and we got at least a B in all the homework and tests.

john
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I don't know anything about music. In my line, you don't have to.

Elvis Presley

[marion]

My last french teacher at secondary school (we had like five different frech teacher in three years.. two of them didn't know french at all!) gave me 5 in french (in norway we use number in stead of letters. 1 is the worst and 6 is the best). She told me I didn't deserve it. Why did I get it then? I think she hated me from that day I told her that the place she was born was the ugliest in Norway.
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http://trparen.blogspot.com - currently in norwegian

[RBtrumpet08]