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ECLtmpt2 Veteran Member
Joined: 21 Feb 2021 Posts: 147
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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2023 11:42 am Post subject: When is it Time to Hang It Up? |
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I've been on a strong come-back path for a few years now and was even getting a few gigs along the way. Things were really going well.
Recently my wife had a life changing 'event' that requires almost full time support & care now. As much as I'm trying to keep up a practice schedule, it's just not happening enough. Besides, going to a gig for an evening with no real return time is out of the question.
The trumpet is now relegated to the back-burner, again. I'm not looking for any condolences or anything, just expressing that we never know what's around the corner and when or what will determine our course.
I plan to keep visiting TH and just see how this chapter works out. Taking it one day at a time.
BTW: As time permits I'll probably start listing some of my stuff in the Marketplace. |
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stuartissimo Heavyweight Member
Joined: 17 Dec 2021 Posts: 990 Location: Europe
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Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 12:24 am Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you and your wife, as much as your circumstances allow for. Although your intention to sell your gear hints otherwise, I still hope you’ll find a way to play again.
Take care. |
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Seymor B Fudd Heavyweight Member
Joined: 17 Oct 2015 Posts: 1473 Location: Sweden
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Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 3:11 am Post subject: |
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Life is a many splendored gig......but suddenly the lights might get low....
and there are roads to be decided.
Don´t sell your horn - it´s a treasure as is your ability to play it - and I strongly believe that hope should be nurtured at every phase of life.
Maybe maybe someday??
But a man´s gotta do what a man´s gotta do so take care of your wife, and yourself. As you write taking it one day at a time.
Best wishes! _________________ Cornets: mp 143D3/ DW Ultra 1,5 C
Getzen 300 series
Yamaha YCRD2330II
Yamaha YCR6330II
Getzen Eterna Eb
Trumpets:
Yamaha 6335 RC Schilke 14B
King Super 20 Symphony DB (1970)
Selmer Eb/D trumpet (1974) |
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JayKosta Heavyweight Member
Joined: 24 Dec 2018 Posts: 3308 Location: Endwell NY USA
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Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 3:49 am Post subject: Re: When is it Time to Hang It Up? |
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ECLtmpt2 wrote: | ...
I plan to keep visiting TH and just see how this chapter works out. Taking it one day at a time. ... |
----------------------------------------------------
Yes, stay involved with TH if you find it enjoyable. Perhaps you can find time for at-home practice. _________________ Most Important Note ? - the next one !
KNOW (see) what the next note is BEFORE you have to play it.
PLAY the next note 'on time' and 'in rhythm'.
Oh ya, watch the conductor - they set what is 'on time'. |
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Tivolian Regular Member
Joined: 22 May 2018 Posts: 84 Location: Upstate New York
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Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 6:56 am Post subject: |
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I second the recommendation that you keep a horn in case you find it fun, or comforting, or distracting to pick it up sometimes. Maybe gigging isn’t in the cards for now, but the act of playing, the horn in your hands, and the sounds can be a big help. I call it brass therapy. Hope to see your continued presence on TH. _________________ Tivolian |
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Crazy Finn Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Dec 2001 Posts: 8335 Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
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Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2023 12:00 am Post subject: |
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Trumpet was my thing for years. I practiced a lot, studied privately in high school, studied music and education in college and spend most of my time in the music building. I loved it.
I got into teaching after college and kept at it. I played in some semi-professional groups and ensembles, fairly high level (playing at festivals and whatnot).
It was a grind and I enjoyed it.
Until..... I started not to.
Trumpet started to feel like a burden. I wanted to do other things, but I always felt like I had to be practicing. And that practice became increasingly less enjoyable and more of a chore. Kind of like cleaning the bathroom or taking out the garbage, except it took an hour or two, not 15 minutes.
At some point, I had a serious sinus problem and playing literally became problematic and painful. I took the opportunity to take a break. Despite the sinus problems, it was refreshing. I still occasionally played with my students (I still taught band) but my home practicing was more like a few hours a year, not a few hours a week or a day.
I was playing trumpet, the trumpet wasn't playing me.
It was frustrating, a little, being a shadow of my former skills, but - on the other hand - I wasn't burned out.
I got lured back into playing with a community band and did that for a few years. I didn't practice that much, wasn't anything at the level I used to be, but it was ok. The pandemic hit, that took a haitus, and now my horns have a few years of dust on them. Literally. They're on the stand, but unplayed for a few years. I should probably do something about that.
Maybe I'll pick them up again and try to have fun with it, again. Maybe. _________________ LA Benge 3X Bb Trumpet
Selmer Radial Bb Trumpet
Yamaha 6335S Bb Trumpet
Besson 709 Bb Trumpet
Bach 184L Bb Cornet
Yamaha 731 Bb Flugelhorn |
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ECLtmpt2 Veteran Member
Joined: 21 Feb 2021 Posts: 147
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Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2023 5:30 am Post subject: |
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Thank you for the kind words.
Re: selling; I have 3 Bb 'pro' horns, a Bb pocket, an Eb/D, a C, & a Flugelhorn. If I decide to sell some, my 'ole 180/37 & Flugel will probably stay until my son has to deal with it.
Again, Thanks. -Ed |
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Shark01 Veteran Member
Joined: 10 Jun 2017 Posts: 283
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Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:36 am Post subject: |
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I didn’t restart playing for anyone but myself, and I have fully enjoyed the past 10 years just playing on my terms. If I can’t work in practices, I don’t. If I want to play alongside anyone from a duet to a chamber group to a full orchestra I put on accompaniment tracks, which I have hundreds of. No appointments, no jobs, no commitments.
I hope you can find the life balance you’re looking for. |
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cbtj51 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 24 Nov 2015 Posts: 725 Location: SE US
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Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2023 6:31 am Post subject: |
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After playing since 5th grade in the '50s, including a few periods of main income source application, I finally stopped altogether after playing a "Millennium Cruise" with a long run Rock Band in 2000. I would have liked to continue playing "occasionally", but that is not how trumpet works, so my new focus was acquiring a retirement fund, so I stopped traveling and gigging to work that out. My wife and I were blessed with lucrative years that really started setting us up for retirement when she got very sick in 2014. I "retired" from my day gig that same year earlier than planned, but we were financially prepared to do so. My days and nights became more or less fulltime caregiver depending on her situation until her passing in January 2021.
I was "drafted" into playing in my church brass ensemble a few months into my "retirement" in mid 2014, which seemed an easy fit into my otherwise caregiver role. As my wife's health fluctuated, I got involved in many different groups, some periods almost fulltime. I set aside a 1-2 hour flexible schedule everyday to practice, more to keep my sanity than anything else, but I also reaped the benefits (my longest continual streak was 848 days).
After my wife's passing, I met a much younger trumpet player at an out of town symphony gig during Easter 2022, eventually marrying her in February 2023. She is a fulltime Special Education teacher, but we both manage to travel and perform with various groups regularly.
I am still a very active trumpet player and now into my busiest schedule, having bookings thru Easter Sunday of next year. True retirement is just not in my plans currently, but I do know that someday it will happen. Anyway, I am blessed to want to play, still be able to play, and have the work to keep me playing, at least for now. My much younger wife has made me a younger, though not a young man, at least in my mind!
Life is Short, find the Joy in it!
Mike _________________ '71 LA Benge 5X Bb
'72 LA Benge D/Eb
'76 Bach CL 229/25A C
‘92 Bach 37 Bb
'98 Getzen 895S Flugelhorn
'00 Bach 184 Cornet
'02 Yamaha 8335RGS
'16 Bach NY 7
'16 XO 1700RS Piccolo
Reeves 41 Rimmed Mouthpieces |
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Man Of Constant Sorrow Veteran Member
Joined: 25 Jun 2023 Posts: 473
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 11:20 am Post subject: |
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Are you still with us ... still picking-up the horn to toot, now'n'then? _________________ Sub-Optimal Hillbilly Jazz |
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kehaulani Heavyweight Member
Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Posts: 9032 Location: Hawai`i - Texas
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 11:55 am Post subject: |
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Doesn't need much introspection. It's time to hang it up when the negatives outweigh the positives. _________________ "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." Bird
Yamaha 8310Z Bobby Shew trumpet
Benge 3X Trumpet
Benge 3X Cornet
Adams F-1 Flghn |
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BGinNJ Veteran Member
Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 380
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2024 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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kehaulani wrote: | Doesn't need much introspection. It's time to hang it up when the negatives outweigh the positives. |
I'm guessing I'm probably not the only one who is introspective about it despite the rational answers. There's the 'sunk cost fallacy', which keeps you hooked even when you know you shouldn't invest more time or effort.
I've gone to great lengths to keep practicing even when it wasn't practical.
I've also gone through days, weeks and months not playing at all, and not missing it. Wasn't a conscious decision to quit, usually.
The really nutty thing is, I play guitar, too, and have other hobbies. I never think, I suck at this, this is too hard, I should quit... |
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stuartissimo Heavyweight Member
Joined: 17 Dec 2021 Posts: 990 Location: Europe
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2024 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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BGinNJ wrote: | The really nutty thing is, I play guitar, too, and have other hobbies. I never think, I suck at this, this is too hard, I should quit... |
That could be an indication that trumpet playing is more meaningful to you than your other hobbies. _________________ 1975 Olds Recording trumpet
1997 Getzen 700SP trumpet
1955 Olds Super cornet
1939 Buescher 280 flugelhorn
AR Resonance mouthpieces |
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BGinNJ Veteran Member
Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 380
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Posted: Thu Feb 29, 2024 6:53 am Post subject: |
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stuartissimo wrote: | BGinNJ wrote: | The really nutty thing is, I play guitar, too, and have other hobbies. I never think, I suck at this, this is too hard, I should quit... |
That could be an indication that trumpet playing is more meaningful to you than your other hobbies. |
Could be, in the sense that I'm more attached to a delusion. When I'm in trumpet playing mode, when time is limited in daily life I'll prioritize it over guitar or working out, etc. even though it can be frustrating and feel like a waste of time.
Making choices is not always rational, but we have one life to live, and I think the point of this thread is how do we know when to move on? |
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Man Of Constant Sorrow Veteran Member
Joined: 25 Jun 2023 Posts: 473
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Posted: Thu Feb 29, 2024 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="BGinNJ"][quote="stuartissimo"] BGinNJ wrote: |
how do we know when to move on? |
Maybe (?) correlate it in a somewhat obtuse way, to relationships with women.
Sometimes, it's YOU ... and sometimes, it is the WOMAN.
You'll know ! _________________ Sub-Optimal Hillbilly Jazz |
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