View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
elExtranjero Veteran Member
Joined: 01 Oct 2004 Posts: 269 Location: McKinney, TX
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:16 pm Post subject: How a thread turns bad... |
|
|
Perhaps you've all seen this before. I have, but after having been flamed here recently on several occasions and having seen several threads that became flame wars having absolutely nothing to do with the original topic, my Mother sent me this and I realized it's an excellent example of how our threads go bad. Read for yourself while you're thinking of the last "You're an idiot" "Yeah, well you're a dummy!" exchange you've seen here
__________________________________________________________
Grading papers isn't always so boring. Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me.
The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerosp ace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
A$$hole.
(Gary)
Bitch
(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one _________________ el Extranjero de la tierra extraña |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
if only my teachers would give me an A+ for a story like that _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
trumpetmike Heavyweight Member
Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Posts: 11315 Location: Ash (an even smaller place ), UK
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 wrote: | if only my teachers would give me an A+ for a story like that |
I think I did
My English teacher loved the way I wrote - I got A/A+ for just about every essay I wrote (including getting 95% on an essay about Wuthering Heights - a novel I still have yet to read - I got to the end of the first page a few times and fell asleep every time ) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
no fair! my english teacher hates me! she took 10 points of my essay because i was a tiny bit verbose. take out the few extra sentences she didnt like and it would have been like exactly 2 pages, which she said was how much we needed. _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Podunkparte Veteran Member
Joined: 23 Feb 2005 Posts: 486 Location: Spokane/Everett WA
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I loved my senior english class. I'd slack off all the time and joke around.... then about once every two to three weeks I'd say something actually competent enough so my teacher would say "Oh... yeah... wow, I never thought of it like that".... that bought me another couple a weeks.
elExtranjero, I love this... I laughed so hard. Killing off each other's character is the ultimate insult. _________________ Lawler TL6-1A #822 -Satin silver w/ polished trim
Bach TR200 -OUCH!
Monette B6
Marcinkiewicz E14 Shew 1
Bach 3C
Schilke 14A4A |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
lol how true. it is also a way to end a story quickly for timed writing competitions. just kill the main character _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
jophst Heavyweight Member
Joined: 04 Jan 2003 Posts: 3139 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 wrote: | lol how true. it is also a way to end a story quickly for timed writing competitions. just kill the main character |
I really really liked the whole story. Gary is obviously watching too much of the Science Fiction channel, but he is just too funny. I've never seen 2 people more opposite.
They're probably married by now. _________________ Bb - Yamaha Xeno 8335RGS
Picc - Yamaha 9830 w/PVA
Flugel - Yamaha Shew 6310Z
Laskey's 68MD,68C,PIC,68F,68DB |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
jophst wrote: |
They're probably married by now. |
LOL! _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Adonias Wondwessen Heavyweight Member
Joined: 21 Apr 2005 Posts: 541 Location: Houston, TX
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Wait....WHAT HAPPENS TO PLANET EARTH?!? Where is the President? Is Gary REALY dead, or did he just mutate into some sort of creature...maybe the Litium in the bombs did not vaporize, but make Laurie into a creature too...?!?!?!? _________________ Arise to the occasion...
Arsenal...
King 601-Katherine
Monette B4L- Lucy
Battle Field...
University of North Texas School of Music
Position..
Entering freshman, Music Education |
|
Back to top |
|
|
KevinPierce Heavyweight Member
Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 1448 Location: West Virginia
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Thats the sort of thing I write for my storys in english class. My teacher loves it |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i wish i could do that. my english teacher, mrs. luebbe.... i mean doctor luebbe (the luebbinator) wouldnt like it. grrr.
once teachers get over the fact that im still paying attention even though my head is lieing down, then they like me. doctor luebbe still hates me. _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
KevinPierce Heavyweight Member
Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 1448 Location: West Virginia
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
the luebbinator is the most awesome thing you could call a teacher ever. If only it was allowed. My public speaking teachers classes all call him just plain Ralph. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
lol shed jug us if we called her that.
(JUG- justice under God.... a detention.
or JUG- justice under Grosser. Mr. Grosser is our dean of discipline. he scares the heck out of people. last drug bust at bacon, he comes out, grabs the kids and throws the kid against a locker and holds him against it till officials came. to intimidate you he takes a full fledged phone book a good 3 inches thick and rips it in half! i didnt even know that was possible! lol. but if you dont mess around, then hes awesome) _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
razeontherock Heavyweight Member
Joined: 05 Jun 2004 Posts: 10609 Location: The land of GR and Getzen
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
My best friend had a little "encounter" w/ a teacher like that. The teacher went to the hospital, being daring enough to try to break up a fight my best friend was in. But this was in 7th grade!
We need more teachers like trumpetmike had. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
trumpetmike Heavyweight Member
Joined: 15 Aug 2003 Posts: 11315 Location: Ash (an even smaller place ), UK
|
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 11:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
razeontherock wrote: | We need more teachers like trumpetmike had. |
Either that or you need to develop a writing style that appeals to your teachers - it doesn't always work - a couple of my lecturers at university didn't appreciate the style quite so much - the inclusion of Monty Python quotes in an essay about Haydn symphonies sometimes got a few comments |
|
Back to top |
|
|
uli Heavyweight Member
Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 1467 Location: Germany
|
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 2:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
I had a German teacher once refuse to give me a mark as she said:
As a accident report it would be an F, but as a piece of humour it is definitely A. No mark this time, but better make something serious next time. _________________
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
jcmacman Heavyweight Member
Joined: 22 Oct 2003 Posts: 860 Location: SoCal
|
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
I loved my senior English class. The teacher let us play Poker in the back of the class room as long as no money was shown and we got at least a B in all the homework and tests.
john _________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line, you don't have to.
Elvis Presley |
|
Back to top |
|
|
marion Veteran Member
Joined: 10 Aug 2005 Posts: 146 Location: Norway
|
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
My last french teacher at secondary school (we had like five different frech teacher in three years.. two of them didn't know french at all!) gave me 5 in french (in norway we use number in stead of letters. 1 is the worst and 6 is the best). She told me I didn't deserve it. Why did I get it then? I think she hated me from that day I told her that the place she was born was the ugliest in Norway. _________________ http://trparen.blogspot.com - currently in norwegian |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RBtrumpet08 Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 3519 Location: Chillicothe, OH
|
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:51 pm Post subject: |
|
|
trumpetmike wrote: | razeontherock wrote: | We need more teachers like trumpetmike had. |
Either that or you need to develop a writing style that appeals to your teachers - it doesn't always work - a couple of my lecturers at university didn't appreciate the style quite so much - the inclusion of Monty Python quotes in an essay about Haydn symphonies sometimes got a few comments |
heh. amen to that. my teacher last year loved monty python and loved it when i did but this year my teacher doesnt like it. grrr i dont like the luebbinator _________________ "Music is a combination of logic and emotion that together express more than either could possibly express alone." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|