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brokennoterepairs Regular Member
Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 58 Location: Red Lion, PA
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 12:51 pm Post subject: Trumpet player jokes! |
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Q: How do you know when you've just met a trumpeter?
A: When he shakes your hand and says, "Hi, I'm (name) and I'm better than you."
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one to change it, but all the others will talk about how they could have done it better.
Q: What is perfect pitch?
A: Tossing a trumpet into a garbage can and not hitting the sides!
(It's all in fun...no need to get excited...the same above applies to clarinet players too!) |
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jazz-o-matic 12 Veteran Member
Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 329 Location: farmington ct
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Q: what is the most common birth control used by trumpet players?
A: their personality _________________ Getzen 3001 Bb
Getzen 3050 Bb (Bach 3B)
Getzen 3070 C (Bach 3C 24 throat) |
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camel Heavyweight Member
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 1461 Location: holland
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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Q: a trumpetplayer and a conductor are standing in the middle of the street. Who will you run over first?
A: the conductor. Business before pleasure |
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brokennoterepairs Regular Member
Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 58 Location: Red Lion, PA
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:54 am Post subject: |
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How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.
How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...
How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof! |
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BeboppinFool Donald Reinhardt Forum Moderator
Joined: 28 Dec 2001 Posts: 6437 Location: AVL|NC|USA
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:11 am Post subject: |
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brokennoterepairs wrote: | How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.
How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...
How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof! |
I looked you up, Brian . . . here's what I found:
at his http://thebrokennote.com/aboutus.aspx website, Brian wrote: | When it comes to playing music Brian is mainly a drummer/percussionist, but dabbles in the bass guitar. He also plays every brass and woodwind instrument for testing purposes after service. |
You're not a trumpet player . . . you took a bunch of guitar and trombone jokes and tried to make them trumpet jokes, and they're simply not funny that way. A joke has to be based on truth to be funny.
But it was a nice try.
By the way, what do you call somebody who likes to hang around with musicians?
A drummer!
_________________ Puttin’ On The Ritz |
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brokennoterepairs Regular Member
Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 58 Location: Red Lion, PA
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:48 am Post subject: |
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With all the drummer/percussionist jokes floating around, can you blame me?
I scanned the Reveille section one afternoon and saw all the sad/serious/angry topics floating around and thought 'this section needs something light-hearted, life is too short'.
Anyone know any good repair technician jokes?
There is a hilarious video on YouTube titled 'Roy's Food Repair', starring John Candy in an early 80's variety show skit. I laughed so hard upon seeing it because it reminded me so much of daily events at my shop.
Certainly worth a look if you're in need of a laugh. |
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skootchy Heavyweight Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Posts: 1661 Location: Naugatuck, CT
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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Speaking of drummers....Q: What does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth??
A: The stage is level! _________________ Praise him with the sound of the trumpet! Ps. 150:3
>=iii=O |
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fraserhutch Heavyweight Member
Joined: 09 Oct 2006 Posts: 2548 Location: Oakville, ON Canada
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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Tyhat's pretty good I heard that one as
What did the drummer get on his SATs?
Drool. _________________ Schilke B1
Callet Jazz
Scodwell Standard Bb
Roger Ingram 1600is
Wild Thing Flugel
Dillon Rotary Picc.
GR and Curry Mouthpieces |
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A.N.A.Mendez Heavyweight Member
Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 5231 Location: ca.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:33 am Post subject: |
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BeboppinFool wrote: | brokennoterepairs wrote: | How do you get a trumpet player to play 'fff'?
Write 'mp' on the sheet.
How many 2nd trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can't reach that high...
How can you spot a trumpeters kids at a playground?
They can't swing...
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet players car?
Remove the Domino's pizza sign from the roof! |
I looked you up, Brian . . . here's what I found:
at his http://thebrokennote.com/aboutus.aspx website, Brian wrote: | When it comes to playing music Brian is mainly a drummer/percussionist, but dabbles in the bass guitar. He also plays every brass and woodwind instrument for testing purposes after service. |
You're not a trumpet player . . . you took a bunch of guitar and trombone jokes and tried to make them trumpet jokes, and they're simply not funny that way. A joke has to be based on truth to be funny.
But it was a nice try.
By the way, what do you call somebody who likes to hang around with musicians?
A drummer!
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"Tough crowd!"
Rodney Dangerfield _________________ "There is no necessity for deadly strife" A. Lincoln 1860
☛ "No matter how cynical you get, it's never enough to keep up" Lily Tomlin☚ |
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brokennoterepairs Regular Member
Joined: 09 Apr 2009 Posts: 58 Location: Red Lion, PA
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:14 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
"Tough crowd!"
Rodney Dangerfield |
"I get no respect"
Rodney Dangerfield |
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jazz-o-matic 12 Veteran Member
Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 329 Location: farmington ct
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:17 pm Post subject: |
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A child gleefully exclaims to his mother: "when i become a grown up i wanna be a trumpet player!
his mother responds: "well you need to pick, your surely can't do both!" _________________ Getzen 3001 Bb
Getzen 3050 Bb (Bach 3B)
Getzen 3070 C (Bach 3C 24 throat) |
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FujiiFilm Veteran Member
Joined: 28 Jan 2009 Posts: 201 Location: San Diego, CA
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:39 am Post subject: |
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I was recently told this joke by a flute player...
Q: What unleashes terror on the high seas?
A: Trumpets! _________________ "A high IQ doesn't make up for a lack of common sense."
1937 H.N. White King Silvertone Cornet
Selmer Signet Flugelhorn
1941 Olds Special Trombone |
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thaxterj1 Regular Member
Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 54
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:49 am Post subject: This one needs a little thought.... |
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Told to me by a very nice lady at an Xmas gig:
What is the difference between a seamstress and a trumpet player?
The seamstress tucks up frills and the trumpet player........
Give it a minute, it will come to you! |
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fraserhutch Heavyweight Member
Joined: 09 Oct 2006 Posts: 2548 Location: Oakville, ON Canada
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
One - he just holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him.... _________________ Schilke B1
Callet Jazz
Scodwell Standard Bb
Roger Ingram 1600is
Wild Thing Flugel
Dillon Rotary Picc.
GR and Curry Mouthpieces |
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Craig Swartz Heavyweight Member
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 7770 Location: Des Moines, IA area
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ConnArtist Heavyweight Member
Joined: 20 Mar 2008 Posts: 2833 Location: La-la Land (corner of 13th and 13th)
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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Q: How many trombone players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who cares. _________________ "Stomvi" PhrankenPhlugel w/ Blessing copper bell
1958 Conn 18A cornet
1962 Conn 9A cornet (yes, the Unicorn )
Reynolds Onyx cornet
c. 1955? Besson 10-10 trumpet
1939 Martin Imperial Handcraft “Model 37”
1986 Bach Strad 37 ML |
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ghsdirector Veteran Member
Joined: 22 Oct 2008 Posts: 220
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:42 am Post subject: |
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How do you get a drummer to shut up?
Put music in front of him. |
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ghsdirector Veteran Member
Joined: 22 Oct 2008 Posts: 220
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:45 am Post subject: |
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What do you say to a banjo player in a suit?
"Will the defendant please rise..." |
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dcompton11976 Regular Member
Joined: 08 Nov 2009 Posts: 12 Location: Troy, AL
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:00 am Post subject: |
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How do you help a struggling percussionist?
Take one stick away and have him conduct. |
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ldwoods Heavyweight Member
Joined: 26 Sep 2004 Posts: 1848 Location: Lake Charles, LA
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:19 am Post subject: |
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Q: How do you make your trumpet sound like a French Horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and miss most of the notes... _________________ Larry Woods
LDWoods |
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